The Grass Is Always Greener
That dissatisfaction with what we don’t have? It’s classic. We see someone’s shiny new car, dream job, or perfect Instagram life, and suddenly our own stuff feels lackluster. Psychologists call this social comparison—we measure ourselves against others and come up short. A 2018 study in Emotion found that people who frequently compare upward (to those “better off”) report lower life satisfaction. It’s not just envy; it’s a hunger for what’s missing, fueled by this idea that happiness is over there, just beyond our grip.
Boredom With the Familiar
Then there’s the flip side: we get bored with what we do have. That new phone we obsessed over? A month later, it’s just a thing. This is hedonic adaptation at work—our brains adjust to the good stuff, and the thrill fades. Research from the Journal of Positive Psychology shows that even big wins, like a raise or a new house, lose their buzz fast as we reset to a baseline. What once felt exciting becomes routine, and we’re left itching for the next hit.
Why We’re Like This
It’s almost like a survival glitch. Evolution might’ve hardwired us to keep chasing—more food, better shelter, higher status—because standing still meant falling behind. But now, in a world of plenty, that drive turns on us. We’re dissatisfied because we’re built to want, and we’re bored because we’re built to adapt. It’s a double whammy: we romanticize the unattainable and undervalue the present.
The Legacy Tie-In
This loops back to your earlier point about legacy. If we’re stuck pining for what’s not ours or dismissing what is, we miss the chance to build something meaningful day by day. Dissatisfaction can push us to act, sure—but if it’s just chasing the next shiny thing, it’s a treadmill. And boredom? It blinds us to the value of what we’re already holding, the stuff we could turn into something lasting.
Breaking the Cycle
So, how do we deal? Gratitude’s one angle—studies like those from Robert Emmons show it can counter hedonic adaptation, making us savor what we’ve got longer. But it’s not about faking joy; it’s about noticing. Flip side: channel that dissatisfaction into purpose, not just wanting more stuff. The strong person with a mission you mentioned—they don’t just stew in discontent; they use it to fuel something bigger.
Do read the Disclaimer