“What you are holding on to is holding you back”:
What we hold onto: This can be many things: past hurts, resentments, rigid expectations (of ourselves, others, or life), the need for control over uncontrollable situations, specific outcomes we’re fixated on, limiting beliefs, fears, or even outdated identities.
How it holds us back: When we cling tightly to these things, they consume our mental and emotional energy. They color our perceptions, trap us in negative emotional loops (like anger, anxiety, or regret), prevent us from adapting to change, blind us to new possibilities, and weigh us down, making it difficult to move forward, grow, or find peace. It’s like trying to run a race while carrying heavy, unnecessary baggage – the weight prevents you from reaching your potential speed or even finishing the race comfortably.
“So accept and let go of what you cannot control”:
Acceptance: This is not about approving of difficult situations or saying they are okay. It is about acknowledging reality as it is, without fighting against it. It’s recognizing the facts of a situation, including the crucial fact that some things are simply outside of our sphere of influence (the past, other people’s choices, random events, the future with certainty). Acceptance is facing reality unflinchingly.
Letting Go: This is the active process of releasing the struggle against the uncontrollable. It means consciously choosing to stop investing energy in trying to change what cannot be changed. It’s releasing the emotional grip, the obsessive thoughts, and the futile attempts at control.
The Connection:
The second part of your statement is the direct solution to the problem identified in the first part. The things we hold onto most tightly are often precisely the things we have the least control over. Our insistence on controlling the uncontrollable is the source of immense suffering and is the primary force “holding us back.”
By choosing acceptance, we make peace with reality. By choosing to let go, we free up the energy and mental space that was previously consumed by resistance and futile control. This liberated energy can then be directed towards things we can control – our actions, our responses, our learning, our growth, and building a future based on present reality, not past regrets or unattainable future guarantees.
Ultimately, the capacity for resilience, adaptability, and finding a sense of inner peace hinges on our ability to discern between what we can influence and what we cannot, and then having the wisdom and courage to release our grip on the latter.
Do read the Disclaimer