“Ultimately, happiness comes down to choosing between the discomfort of becoming aware of your mental afflictions and the discomfort of being ruled by them.”
― Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness
Mental Afflictions as Unseen Rulers: Our “mental afflictions” are the unexamined beliefs, unresolved traumas, negative thought patterns, emotional baggage, fears, and defense mechanisms that operate beneath the surface of our consciousness. When we are ruled by them, they dictate our reactions, shape our perceptions, drive our behaviors, and limit our choices without our conscious awareness. This can manifest as chronic anxiety, anger, insecurity, destructive habits, relationship issues, or a pervasive sense of feeling stuck or unfulfilled. The discomfort here is the ongoing pain, chaos, missed opportunities, and lack of authentic connection that result from not being in control of our inner world. It’s a passive, often confusing, suffering.
The Discomfort of Awareness is Active and Intentional: Choosing the discomfort of becoming aware means deliberately turning your attention inward. It involves introspection, mindfulness, therapy, journaling, or honest conversations with trusted individuals. This process requires courage because you will inevitably uncover things that are uncomfortable, painful, shameful, or frightening. You might confront past wounds, recognize your own damaging patterns, acknowledge limiting beliefs you didn’t know you had, or feel the raw emotions you’ve been avoiding. This discomfort is active, challenging, and often feels intense because you are directly engaging with the source of your internal struggles.
The Choice Between Pains: The quote highlights that neither path is entirely comfortable. There is a discomfort associated with both confronting your inner demons and letting them run your life. However, the nature and outcome of these discomforts are vastly different:
Discomfort of Being Ruled: This is a chronic, debilitating pain that keeps you trapped in cycles of suffering, limits your growth, and prevents you from experiencing true freedom and joy. It’s the discomfort of a slow, unseen poison.
Discomfort of Awareness: This is often an acute, challenging pain, but it is a healing pain. It is the discomfort of surgery that removes the illness, the pain of exercising a muscle to make it stronger, or the discomfort of shedding old skin to allow for new growth. It is purposeful suffering that leads towards liberation.
The Path to Happiness: Ultimately, genuine and sustainable happiness is not merely fleeting pleasure; it is a state of inner freedom, peace, and the capacity to navigate life’s challenges with resilience. This state is only attainable when you are not being unknowingly controlled by your mental afflictions. By choosing the discomfort of becoming aware, you gain understanding, agency, and the ability to consciously choose your responses instead of being driven by unconscious programming. This self-awareness and self-mastery, born from facing uncomfortable truths, is the foundation upon which true and lasting happiness is built.
Do read the Disclaimer