The difference between a routine and a ritual is not necessarily the action, but the attitude behind the action.
To many, a routine is getting up every morning, eating breakfast, brushing your teeth, taking a shower, getting dressed, and going to work. It is not a meaningful part of our day, but it needs to get done so we do it. It’s viewed as a chore.
However, rituals are viewed as more meaningful practices. Often, there is symbolism involved, and a real sense of purpose. A big part of it is your subjective experience of the activity.
| Routines | Rituals |
| Minimal engagement | Full engagement |
| Tedious | Symbolic and meaningful |
| Externally motivated | Internally motivated |
| Life as a duty | Life as a celebration |
| Disconnected series of events | Tells a story |
| Focus only on completion of tasks | Focus on performance of tasks |
Routine
I think of routines as checklists or a structure in which I act. It can be a list of things I do in the morning or the process of getting my kids down for bed. In either case, there is a series of tasks that I do consistently and in the same order.
Inside routines, I don’t have to think about what comes next. I do them frequently and I can do them without looking at a list. They remove the stress on my brain and help me accomplish a task quickly and efficiently, but they don’t necessarily recharge me.
Common routines: preparing work for the day, mowing the lawn, bedtimes, bathing, brushing teeth, making bed.
Ritual
Rituals are similar to routines since they are also a series of tasks that are completed in the same order. But a ritual’s intent is to provide energy and enjoyment along with structure. A ritual is a carefully selected process that has a positive side effect outside of the task being completed.
Common rituals: exercising, meditation, reading or writing a book, omitting some time for ones passions and interests.
There are two support patterns that help to structure our lives–routine and ritual, and they are not the same.
Routine means habits that give form to our daily lives–brushing our teeth, changing our underwear, eating at specific times, making appointments. Routine requires discipline, and it begins very early. It sustains us as we age. We organize pills according to day and quantity. We write things down on our calendars. It helps relieve the anxiety about “What do I do next?” or “What was I supposed to do today?”
Creating a routine gives us a sense of security. We are relieved from having to decide on when and how to do small, unimportant activities like where to sit at the table–which fork or spoon to use–whether to have coffee or tea. These simple, everyday activities reassure us, and unless we decide to change, we don’t have to think about that change.
Ritual is different. It is connected to a rite celebrating a particular occasion or initiation. Yes, it requires repetition and practice of a sort, and yes, it does require discipline, but the purpose is different. Rituals demand thought, often an inner meditation on an abstract concept, whereas a routine is performed without conscious thinking. Rituals demand attention to process as well as to affect. Ritual connects us to our community and to society in general.
Routine reinforces our sense of control over our every-day lives. We need both routine and ritual. Without routine, we are beset with decision-making over the smallest, most mundane aspects of daily life; without ritual, we deprive ourselves of connecting with other members of our tribe or social group.
When we are young, our parents create routines for us that make their lives (and ours) easier. They insist we do our homework at a specific time every day; that we have breakfast and dinner at a specific time; that we do chores around the house or garden according to a specific schedule. As teens, we often resist their scheduling, and try to set up our own schedules, establishing our own routines. The process is important, even if it is not often successful.
We need both routine and ritual. We crave the patterns of socialization–they remind us of our connection to others. Routine helps us to organize our time, creating schedules that fit our needs. Routine helps to give form to our daily lives. Ritual expands our horizons to aspects of life beyond daily requirements. We need both pillars to sustain us, especially as we age.
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Excerpts taken from expert columns and articles