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The Pygmalion effect

The Pygmalion effect is a psychological term that describes how a person’s expectations can impact their performance. The effect is based on the idea that people will work hard to meet the expectations of a leader, role model, or authority figure. The Pygmalion effect can also be used to intentionally help others develop.

The Pygmalion effect is also known as the Rosenthal effect, after the 1968 study conducted by social psychologists Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobsen at a Californian school. Rosenthal described the effect as “What one person expects of another can come to serve as a self-fulfilling prophecy”.

~Praveen Jada

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The four phases of acceptance

Prelude – Denial: “There is no problem”

The four phases of acceptance are:

  • Resistance: The initial inclination to resist an unpleasant situation
  • Resignation: Acknowledging that a circumstance is real and unavoidable, but not happy about it
  • Acceptance: Recognizing the reality of a situation without despair or discomfort
  • Embracing: The final phase, which may be the most challenging

~Praveen Jada

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Humans are hardwired for conflict

We are hardwired for conflict, we are hardwired to create chaos , we are hardwired to create entropy . We as humans by default want to mess up things that are going good. We break things to stick them back. Reasons might be to create problems like be the person to provide the solution, be in the limelight as you have relevance and value, we want a purpose to work on, it creates a mission.

~Praveen Jada

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Learning more and doing nothing will make you feel unqualified

Learn more to feel qualified and not practicing or taking action will make you feel unqualified. It is a negative feedback loop. You feel like you are learning when you are attending courses or reading. If you do not use what you learn, then you are still unqualified. This breeds insecurity and you may enroll in to some other class to get confidence. This becomes a negative feedback loop and a habit. Confidence and courage builds only through action especially when you are doubtful and scared of doing stuff.

Never let your qualification hamper your ambition and mission of your life. A qualification would add some credibility to your resume but you must be passionate to do self-work in the topic you want to pursue. If you wait till you complete the courses or classes to gain some qualification to do what you love to do, then you don’t really love it. Your level of commitment to your passion shows up in what you do to attain mastery outside the qualification. You would not be able to do anything if you wait till you are qualified to do the stuff you are meant to do, you will never start if you wait for that perfect day where all the stars align, you will keep procrastinating if you wait for others acceptance, you would not step out if you expect everything is rosy and sun is shining bright outside. More people kill their dreams in life for their close ones to accept and support their ideas and passion. Many people give up if someone rejects their intention or criticizes them and that someone may never meet them again or they might be irrelevant in next 2 or 3 years.

Having great aspiration without taking action is same an doing nothing.

~Praveen Jada

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Exceptions do not disprove the rule

You have to speak in generalities if you have to convey your message to a very large audience. You need to make certain assumptions about the people you are speaking to and deliver the messages. Yes, there will be many if and buts but exception does not ruin the rule. Our decisions and policies must not be based on the exceptions but framed around majority of cases. Exceptions do not disprove the rule. If we try to address each and every different case, then we cannot implement anything and take any decision. You cannot take an action if you try to mitigate all the risks associated in reaching a goal. You need to first start and then improvise during the process.

~Praveen Jada

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You feel bored because you are dependent on instant pleasures

You feel bored when you are relying more on the external sources for joy in life. When you are putting the control of your life on the external factors then your excitement fluctuates with what you are consuming whether it is food or online content or news.

When you derive your motivation and energy internally from the things that you can have control over and that you love to work for then you not feel bored because you are less dependent on the external things that keeps changing and that are uncertain.

You feel bored when you are only depending on the things that gives instant satisfaction and immediate pleasure. You feel less bored if you enjoy the process of working on something that you love. You need to focus on the journey rather than the end goal to feel bored of the work that you are doing.

~Praveen Jada

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Humans prefer safety over autonomy

We as humans always prefer the false sense of security and illusion of safety over this comfort of growth, change and self-Reliance. Because having autonomy, taking responsibility and being accountable for one’s decisions requires mental and physical efforts. As humans our defaut way is to take the option of least resistance. So we prefer what is less painful and less effortful and which gives immediate relief over what is best way to address the issue.

~Praveen Jada

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Pain makes you stronger only if you believe so

You will be hurt in life. People will hurt you. Circumstances would make you suffer. You would get into unexpected troubles, crisis happen, you experience trauma. That is inevitable but the only this you need to be conscious of is to not let the crisis go wasted. You need to observed that pain and process that pain and purify yourself and come out stronger from the pain. People who do not heal their past will project their pain on others.

~Praveen Jada

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