shallow fun and deep fun. example – shallow fun is eating ice cream the moment you see it and deep fun is find pride in stopping yourself from eating ice cream.
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Blog
It is hard to find what you want in life
The hardest thing is not doing what you want and desire in life but the hardest thing is knowing what you want and desire in life. Because once you know what you want in life and who you want to be, then you have to do what is required to become who you want in life . We procrastinate and ignore our inner voice to become more of who we are because it is very painful and stressful to not do what we are supposed to do even after being aware of it. It creates a sense of guilt and shame in not doing what is best for us, hence we belittle our desire and put it in the back burner rather than working towards realising our dream.
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When everyone is sick, we no longer considered it as disease
As Jiddu Krishnamurthy said “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”.
In the current society where majority of the people are sick inside, where living with chronic disease and disorders has become normal and bodies adopt with compensations mechanisms to somehow save us which in turn create further pain, where people go limping through life with imbalanced lifestyles, where people feel weak, tired and exhausted doing normal tasks, where people get stressed for trivial events in life – anyone who is taking healthier decisions who be perceived as strange.
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Something that is difficult to attain may not be of value to you
Just because something is difficult to obtain doesn’t necessarily mean that it is valuable to you. For example, the things that one owns or the places that one goes may be difficult to get like expensive watches or paintings, mansions, high end cars, jets or yachts or even beautiful women, costly furniture etc,. When we look at them and feel envy, we just look at the exuberance and ignore the person and when is going on in their life in the background. We get attracted and tempted to have them as they are associated with comfort, convenience and pleasure which our brain craves for perpetually. We also link luxury items with reputation, fame and power of a particular person in society. Most of times we unconsciously crave for things that do not have any relevance to our lifestyle and stuff we are doing in our life.
At the same time, things that are valuable to all of us are always difficult to attain and keep them. Those are the ones that gives you long term satisfaction, happiness and fulfillment. For example, take care of your body and mind by routinely doing certain practices, maintaining healthy relationships, dedicating time and effort to work on your passion, being financially stable and self-reliable, using your skills to master certain topic and being of help to others etc.,
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Historically more harm is done with positive intent
- Historically more harm is done to humanity with positive intentions of a powerful class of people.
- More harm is done in telling people what is good for them rather than leaving them alone.
- More harm is done in forcing ideologies on others in the name of god, religion, caste, creed etc,.
- More harm is done in imposing certain rules in the name of welfare
- More harm is done in the name of religion and god.
- More harm is done in proving which god is greater rather than saying the your god is my god.
- More harm is done by changing people.
- More harm is done in controlling the uncontrollables.
- More harm is done by dictating other’s lives.
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The folly of our brain
“The breeding ground for misbelief is stress.”
“When you think about corrosive, you say people are different on the other side of this and there’s really no no going back”
“Every element of our psychology is attacked to get us down to this finalist misbelief.”
“Cognitive dissonance is about, if we act in a certain way our beliefs follow.”
“Emotions in general are basically rules of thumbs. They are not accurate, they are not designed to be accurate. They are designed to dictate a particular behavior that is almost instinctual.”
“We’ve created a society very much built on temptation and emotions everywhere, and not just in social media, […] it’s an easier trigger to press than to go through the cognitive route.”
“There’s the cognitive part, you choose which information to pay attention to or not, and there’s the personality part that some people are more susceptible to…”
“It’s really about the ability to hold multiple hypotheses in mind and not being convinced too quickly. I also think it’s about reducing the gap between confidence and knowledge…”
“It’s not that anybody’s lying, it’s that they looked at the same thing and they walked away with wildly different conclusions. “ Tom Bilyeu
“If you have a growth mindset, you are not prone to going down the funnel of disbelief because your identity is not tied up in a belief or something.” Tom Bilyeu
“I don’t want to be 100% sure of anything that is going to color my worldview, or at least I’m going to be very, very cautious before I get there.”
“Everything is a trade off, and I think that for most things we don’t understand them sufficiently and deeply, and we are just at the beginning of the journey and we need to understand it, and we need to keep on being willing to change it later on.”
“Social science changes all the time because the things that tap our irrationality keep on changing and the type of mistakes we make keep on changing. So we need to change with it.”
“Creating a goal of fulfilling ourselves by improving other people’s lives is a wonderful abstract goal. As long as you don’t say “I know what is the exact way to do it.”
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Freedom comes with self-awareness and discipline
Freedom is nothing but as the word itself means independent, self-reliable, responsible, disciplined. You witness true freedom when you are responsible for yourself and take control of the things that you can control. You experience freedom when you are strict with yourself and be kind to others. You feel the power of freedom when you understand that you have power our your choices and decisions. You have freedom when you can recognize the how outside factors are trying to influence your life for their own advantage and then you act accordingly. You are free when you are self-aware of your own mindset, your beliefs, your thought patterns, your emotional stability, your attitude towards the outside circumstances, your response to the uncontrollable events in life, your decisions and choices in life.
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Help others with pain to reduce your pain
When you are suffering, when you are wounded and hurt inside, one of the best ways to pass through the difficult phase is to identify similar people who are hurt and suffering like you are and try to support them to get better. In this process you will see various options to redeem yourself.
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How to start in non-cooperating environment
How to jump start in an environment of back stabbers and untrustworthy people , it is to move ahead by taking small steps with calculated risks. There is no way other than to be decent and sticking to your ground while understanding their nature. When you understand their patterns of behaviour and when it the right time to strike then give them their own medicine tactfully.
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Sometimes the most useful thing you can do… is nothing
Sometimes it’s the constant desire to “fix things” that keeps breaking them in the first place. Sometimes the most useful thing you can do… is nothing. Coincidentally, this is usually also the hardest thing to do.
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Make kindness as default behaviour
Starting point should always be cooperation, grace, decency, kindness . generally the world around you responds to you the same way. If you sense that things are not working as expected due to bad nature of the people around you then you need to course correct and change the direction or else you are going to suffer and be miserable.
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Real pain is the avoidance of pain
Fear doesn’t control us by dominating our emotions. It controls us by quietly convincing us that our comfort is more important than happiness.
The only real risk is taking no risks. The only real failure is having no failures. The only real pain is the avoidance of pain.
When in your life have you chosen comfort over happiness? Are you choosing comfort over happiness right now? What have been the repercussions of that choice?
Who would you be if you felt no need to stay comfortable and safe? How would your life be different today?
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Change your choices to change outcome
If you are able to think then you are able to make different choices. If you are able to make different choices, you are able to improve. If you are able to improve, with enough time, you are able to overcome anything.
Is there something in your life that you have allowed yourself to believe is impossible to fix?
Often, the trick to dealing with an irreparable part of your life is to stop trying to repair it and instead focus on building something elsewhere.
Where else could you find happiness?
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The desire to feel good never ends
The desire to feel good never ends—and that’s the source of all your problems.
You seek love and validation because it doesn’t feel good to not be loved and validated.
You seek money and status because it doesn’t feel good to worry about not having money and status.
You seek happiness and peace because it doesn’t feel good to lack happiness and peace in your life.
In each case, you want to feel a certain way but you don’t feel that way. And it’s precisely that gap in feelings that causes all of humanity’s suffering.
It’s what causes everything from a toddler melting down in the middle of a grocery store aisle to large-scale geopolitical conflicts that suck us into the screens we glue our faces to every day.
In short, emotions run the world.
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Good relationships make other good things even better
Relationships are the multipliers of life. Good relationships make other good things even better. Bad relationships make other bad things even worse.
Who you choose to spend time with likely has a greater long-term impact on your health, wealth, and happiness than almost any other decision you make. Yet, most people will put more conscious thought into the color of their smartphone case.
Which relationships in your life are helping you? Which relationships in your life are hurting you? In the case of a relationship that is hurting you, what can you do to distance yourself from that person?
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