It’s not people’s job to show you what’s interesting or great about themselves. It’s your job to find it. This is life, not a sales convention.
Curiosity is the cure to social anxiety. When you’re focused on discovering who they are, you will stop worrying about what they think about who you are.
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What you hate in others is usually what you hate most in yourself. The people who drive you crazy do so because they reflect back at you the worst aspects of yourself that you have either tried to deny or overcome.
We judge others by the same standards which we judge ourselves. If we judge ourselves by how much money we make, we will judge others by how much money they make. The values we’ve adopted for ourselves are the same values we project onto others.
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The most important things in life—trust, respect, love, happiness—must be painstakingly earned over time, but can be quickly and easily destroyed. As Warren Buffett once said, “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.”
One of the simplest mindset shifts you can make to find greater success is simply to extend your time horizon. Measure your major decisions not in months or years but decades. Do that consistently and you will be amazed where you end up.
What if you were optimizing your life for 10 years in the future instead of this month or this year? How would your behaviors change? What new decisions would you make?
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Approach life advice not like immutable laws but rather like trying on clothes. Some advice will fit you well and flatter you. Other advice will not. Advice that may work great on one person may work terribly on the next. Pick and choose your advice to suit your personality and the occasion. Feel free to discard old advice any time it stops working for you.
What piece of life advice have you repeatedly and desperately tried to make work for yourself but it has never “felt right?”
Did you try to force that advice upon yourself? Did you blame yourself when it didn’t work?
One of the hazards of the personal development industry is that many of the people who come to it are insecure and unsure of themselves. So when they receive a piece of advice that doesn’t work for them, instead of blaming the advice, they blame themselves.
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Haters occur in proportion to admiration. Doing anything notable will generate both positive and negative reactions of similar intensity.
It’s impossible to be a life-changing presence to some people without simultaneously being a complete joke to others.
The best response to hate is to simply improve yourself so much that the hater’s criticisms become self-evidently false and empty. The best revenge is to be so undeniably good that there’s no need to ever respond.
How many things are you doing in your life right now to get back at somebody or prove them wrong? What would happen if you stopped?
Let go of the desire for revenge, validation, or vindication. Try focusing on your goals simply for the sake of your goals. See what that feels like and let me know.
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Luck doesn’t just happen, it’s created. You can do things to increase the odds of serendipity. Meeting more people makes you lucky. Learning more skills makes you lucky. Being willing to fail makes you lucky. Offering to help others more often makes you lucky.
How often do you blame your circumstances on bad luck? What can you do to add more luck into your life?
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Three questions determine 99% of the happiness in your life:
1. What am I working on and why?
2. Who am I spending time with and why?
3. How well am I treating my body and why?
Everything else is noise.
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The only way to become more successful than most people is to be willing to do something most people aren’t willing to do.
If you simply do what everyone else has already done, you will be rewarded with the same mediocre results everyone else has already gotten. The only model for success is to avoid most of the world’s models for success.
If you simply do what everyone else has already done, you will be rewarded with the same mediocre results everyone else has already gotten. The only model for success is to avoid most of the world’s models for success.
What is something of value that you are willing to do that most people are not? What is something that you enjoy doing that most people do not? What is something you are naturally good at that most people are not?
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Competence is how good you are when there is something to gain. Character is how good you are when there is nothing to gain.
People will reward you for competence. But people will love you for your character.
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A study that was conducted on effect of women for going foreign interview so they were told that in order to analyse the impact of the way a person look and there success in the interview the receptors said that we are going to put a scar on your face and your going to perform in the interview and see how the interview were would treat you and analyse your performance at the end of the day is that the makeup artists actually told that they are creating the scar on their face but their scars were removed before going to interview during the makeup. But the women still believe that there is a scar on their face. So when they come out of the interview when they were asked how the interview went they were complaining about all the discrimination the faced and how scar has impacted negatively in the interview.
So we project our insecurities on the world, we project how we feel about ourselves due to which out behaviour may not be optimal. Due to this self consciousness, we may think that others have took advantage of us.
We will perceive the world the way our perception is inbuilt in our mind which is things not as they are but assume things the way we want them to be and what we believe about the reality.
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Lot of people are casual and do things based on feelings. They replace what actually works and true with what sounds good and how they feel about the topic in question. People vote based on how they feel about the person who is contesting. We became addicted to our feelings and being casual in life. We feel entitled and strongly believe that all the systems and entities are established to take care of us. We will have strong irresistible drive to neglect things and be casual seeker of information and structures in our society until we face the fire and feel the pain of our take it easy attitude.
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The wise man listen to the music and the fool listens to the noise.
The magic and meaning of your life lies in the work that you are avoiding to pursue.
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Let’s say that a person who does not know how to drive and he barely finished his training in driving a car. Now imagine that person has blindfolded his eyes and he is driving through the streets of Bangalore for Mumbai or any other big city which has huge traffic problems, huge traffic jams, nobody is following the traffic rules.
There are better experience drivers everywhere but somehow this person who drives through this intense traffic situation that becomes a problem for excellent drivers. They try to ridicule or attack or bring down that person who is doing this with his unique skills.
It is always easier to insult and demean others instead of raising our standards. It is easier to be scared of someone else’s efforts instead of focusing on improving our work ethics.
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If you are going to promote anything then focus on provoking above emotions to grab people’s attention.
Fear and anger – amygdala -> hypothalamus -> pituitary -> adrenals -> spits cortisol and adrenaline – this happens 74 milli sec
Disgust – insular cortex -> something that revolts you or when someone does something against ethics and morals.
Sadness – dorsal anterior singular cortex – separated from loved ones, loss of something that you are fond of
Grief – unremedied sadness. It is pulsating feeling to reunite with the lost person or a thing but you cannot do it.
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