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You know, the ones we tell ourselves to feel better or avoid tough realities—like “I’ll get to that tomorrow” (spoiler: tomorrow never comes) or “I’m just not a morning person” (when really, we’re just hitting snooze too many times).

Why We Lie to Ourselves
I think a lot of those lies start as coping mechanisms. Early on, they shield us from uncomfortable truths—maybe about who we are, what we want, or what we’re capable of. But as we mature, we get better at spotting them. It’s like we develop this internal BS detector that goes off louder with every passing year. And that’s where the growth kicks in: we stop hiding behind excuses and start facing things head-on.

The Growth in Truth
Personal growth isn’t just about ditching the lies, though—it’s also about chasing the truth, even when it’s messy or inconvenient. It’s admitting you’re not going to start that diet tomorrow, or that “later” usually means “never,” and then doing something about it. That shift can be brutal—facing reality often is—but it’s also freeing. The more we let go of those half-truths, the more room we make for a life that’s real and meaningful.

The Payoff
It’s not always a picnic, sure. Calling ourselves out takes guts, and sometimes the truth stings. But the reward? A deeper understanding of who we are and what drives us. Plus, there’s this quiet confidence that comes with it—like, “Yeah, I know my flaws, but I’m working on them, and that’s enough.” It’s authentic, it’s messy, and it’s way more fulfilling than clinging to the comforting stories we used to tell ourselves.

~Praveen Jada

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• Mastery – Growing, learning , building new skills and capabilities, being passionate on becoming a master in the working domain.
• Autonomy – Sense of control over one’s work and decisions.
• Sense of Purpose – being valued and respected by others because the work has an real positive impact.

~Praveen Jada

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• it sounds like
• it looks like
• it seems like
• what’s going on
• Tell me more
• Hope you are fine
• hope you are doing well
• is this an argument
• Let’s have a decent discussion
• Let’s not accuse or blame each other
• what are the chances
• are you sure
• are you saying that you don’t have the power
• make sure they are apologise for what they did or said
• i am sorry for what you are going through
• nobody should go through it
• I understand that it is painful

~Praveen Jada

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Stanley Milgram’s obedience study was a series of experiments that tested how far people would go to obey authority figures. The experiments took place in the 1960s.

What was the study about?
Participants were deceived into thinking they were shocking learners for giving wrong answers.
Most participants continued to shock, even though the learners were screaming and pleading.

What did the study find?
Most people will submit to authority, even if it means doing something morally wrong.
People obey authority out of fear or a desire to appear cooperative.
People are more likely to obey authority if they perceive the authority figure as qualified to give orders.
People are more likely to obey authority if they feel they can blame the authority figure for any negative outcomes.

What were the effects of the study?
The study caused controversy, with some accusing Milgram of abusing his subjects.
The study inspired a large body of literature, much of which is polemical and contradictory.

~Praveen Jada

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The one who plants trees, knowing that he will never sit in their shade, has at least started to understand the meaning of life.
~Rabindranath Tagore

Society flourishes when men plant seeds and then nurture them to grow into a tree under which they wouldn’t enjoy the shade. That is the best legacy and this is the meaning of leaving legacy.

This phrase is a poetic way of describing a selfless, long-term vision for the betterment of society. It suggests that a thriving community is built when individuals—here referred to as “men,” though it can apply broadly—take actions today that benefit future generations, even if they themselves won’t live to see or enjoy the results.

The “seeds” symbolize the initial efforts, ideas, or investments—whether they’re literal, like planting trees, or figurative, like creating systems, raising families, or fostering values. “Nurturing them to grow into a tree” represents the care, dedication, and time put into ensuring those efforts develop into something strong and lasting. The “tree” stands for the eventual outcome: a source of shade, shelter, or sustenance—something valuable and enduring for society.

The key part, “under which they wouldn’t enjoy the shade,” highlights the selflessness of the act. It means those who plant and tend the seeds won’t personally reap the rewards because the tree takes years to mature, perhaps beyond their lifetime. Yet, their work ensures that others—future generations—can find comfort and prosperity under its branches.

In essence, it’s about legacy: the idea that true societal progress comes from people who prioritize the future over immediate personal gain, leaving behind something greater than themselves. It’s a call to think beyond the present and invest in a world we might never fully experience ourselves.

~Praveen Jada

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Novelty—the quality of being new, unusual, or unexpected—grabs attention because human brains are wired to notice change. When something stands out as different, it triggers curiosity and engagement, pulling people out of their usual patterns of thinking. For example, presenting an idea in a fresh, surprising way—like an unexpected story or a bold twist on a familiar concept—can make it stick in someone’s mind. It’s like dropping a bright red apple in a pile of green ones; it’s impossible not to notice. This heightened attention creates an opening for influence, as people are more receptive when they’re intrigued.

Authority, on the other hand, taps into our tendency to trust and follow those we perceive as credible or powerful. When someone—or something—carries the weight of expertise, status, or confidence, we’re more likely to accept their message without questioning it too much. Think of a doctor in a white coat or a confident speaker citing impressive credentials; their words carry more sway because we assume they know what they’re talking about. Authority doesn’t even need to be real—it just needs to feel real to work its magic.

Combine the two, and you’ve got a potent mix. Novelty hooks people in, while authority seals the deal by making the message seem legitimate. For instance, if you unveil a groundbreaking idea (novelty) and back it up with a voice of expertise or a commanding presence (authority), you’re not just catching someone’s eye—you’re planting your idea deep in their thoughts. It’s like a mental one-two punch: surprise them, then convince them.

In practice, this could look like introducing a wild, attention-grabbing suggestion—say, “What if we could live forever?”—and then grounding it with an authoritative follow-up, like “Leading scientists at xAI say it’s closer than you think.” The novelty sparks interest, and the authority makes it believable, nudging the listener to take it seriously.

One key tactic is emotional arousal. Stirring up strong feelings—whether it’s excitement, anger, or insecurity—clouds judgment. When emotions run high, logic takes a backseat. Take advertising: a commercial might show a happy family using a product, triggering a longing for connection, or it might hint you’re missing out, sparking fear of exclusion. Before you know it, you’re reaching for your wallet, convinced it’s your idea.

Another tool is reciprocity. Humans feel obligated to return favors. If someone does something for you—even something small, like a compliment or a free sample—you’re wired to feel indebted. Manipulators use this by giving first, then asking for something bigger later. Think of a salesperson offering a “free” consultation, only to pitch hard afterward. You’re more likely to say yes because you feel you owe them.

Social proof is a big one too. We look to others to figure out what’s right or normal, especially when we’re unsure. A manipulator might say, “Everyone’s doing it,” or stage a scene where people seem to agree with them. It’s why testimonials work, or why a crowded restaurant feels more appealing than an empty one. The herd instinct kicks in, and you follow.

Then there’s gaslighting, a darker twist. This involves making someone doubt their own perceptions or sanity—“That’s not what happened, you’re overreacting.” Over time, the target relies on the manipulator for “truth,” losing confidence in their own judgment. It’s insidious because it rewires how someone sees reality.

Framing is more subtle but just as powerful. The way you present something shapes how it’s received. Call a policy “protection” instead of “restriction,” and people warm to it. Manipulators control the narrative by choosing words, emphasizing benefits, or downplaying flaws. It’s not lying—it’s selective storytelling.

Why does this work? Because our brains are full of shortcuts—heuristics—that save time but leave us vulnerable. We trust authority figures because questioning takes effort. We assume consistency in others because inconsistency feels chaotic. Manipulators lean on these quirks, knowing most people won’t dig deeper.

Take a real-world example: cults. A charismatic leader (authority) offers a radical new purpose (novelty), showers recruits with love (reciprocity), and surrounds them with believers (social proof). Doubts get framed as weakness, and soon members are handing over their lives, convinced it’s their choice. It’s manipulation dialed up to eleven.

~Praveen Jada

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It’s impossible to be a life-changing presence to some without being a total joke to others. Criticism is proportional to impact.

People will criticize you for your successes. They will criticize you for your failures. They will criticize you for acting. They will criticize you for not acting.

~Praveen Jada

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The quote, “What happens to us does not determine our lives, but we use what happens to us to determine our lives,” speaks to the power of personal agency and resilience. It suggests that while external events—good or bad—shape the raw material of our existence, it’s our response to those events that ultimately defines who we become and how we live. Let’s unpack and expand on this idea.

At its heart, this is about control—or the lack of it. Life throws things at us we can’t predict or prevent: a sudden loss, an unexpected opportunity, a stroke of luck, or a crushing setback. These moments can feel like they’re steering the ship, dictating where we end up. The quote flips that notion. It says the events themselves aren’t the captain—you are. What happens is just the weather; how you navigate it is what sets your course.
Take hardship, for instance. A person might lose their job—a blow that could sink them into despair. But one might see it as a nudge to chase a dream they’d shelved, using the setback as fuel to build something new. Another might wallow, letting it define them as a victim. Same event, different lives. The difference lies in what they do with it—how they interpret it, what meaning they assign, and what actions they take.

It’s not just about adversity, either. Positive events—say, winning a prize or meeting someone influential—don’t automatically guarantee a flourishing life. If you coast on that high without effort, it fades into a footnote. But if you use it as a springboard, investing the winnings or nurturing the connection, it becomes a cornerstone. The gift doesn’t shape your future; your choices around it do.

This ties into a deeper truth about human nature: we’re storytellers. What happens to us is the raw plot, but we’re the authors. A betrayal could be the end of trust—or the beginning of wisdom. A failure could mark defeat—or spark grit. We don’t get to write the first draft of life’s script, but we edit it with every decision, reframing chaos into purpose.

Think of someone like Nelson Mandela. Decades in prison could’ve broken him, defined him as a man crushed by injustice. Instead, he used it—channeled the pain into resolve, emerging not just free but as a leader who reshaped a nation. The imprisonment happened to him, but he determined what his life became with it.

The quote also hints at accountability. It’s tempting to blame circumstances—poverty, bad luck, other people—for where we stand. And sure, those things matter; they can stack the deck. But the idea here is that even with a lousy hand, you still play the game. You don’t control the cards, but you decide how to bet. It’s not a denial of hardship—it’s a refusal to let hardship have the final say.

Expanded, it could read: “The events that crash into our lives, whether storms or sunshine, don’t hold the pen that writes our story. They’re the ink spills and highlights we’re handed, but it’s our hands that grip the pen, turning splatters into sentences and moments into meaning. What happens to us is the clay; how we mold it—or let it mold us—builds the shape of our days.”

~Praveen Jada

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Competence is the skill, knowledge, or talent you bring to the table—your raw capacity to make something happen. Confidence, though, is the internal conviction that you can do it, the mental fuel that turns competence into action. The idea here is that plenty of people have the chops to chase their dreams—whether it’s starting a business, writing a book, or climbing a mountain—but they never get off the ground because they don’t trust themselves enough to try.

Why does confidence falter when competence is there? For one, self-doubt is a relentless gatekeeper. Even if you’ve got the skills, your mind can whisper, “What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough?” That inner critic doesn’t care about your résumé—it feeds on fear. Someone might know how to code an app (competence), but if they’re paralyzed by the thought of it flopping or being judged, the dream stalls. Doubt kills momentum before the first step.

Then there’s the comparison trap. We live in a world where everyone’s highlight reel is on display—social media, success stories, the works. A competent person might look at someone “better” and think, “I’ll never measure up,” even if they’ve got what it takes. Confidence erodes not because they lack ability, but because they’ve benchmarked themselves against an unrealistic standard.

Fear of failure plays a big role too. Competence can get you through the door, but confidence keeps you moving when the inevitable stumbles hit. Without it, a single setback—like a rejected pitch or a harsh critique—can feel like proof you’re doomed, even if your skills say otherwise. A competent artist might stop painting after one bad review, not because they can’t paint, but because they lose faith in their worth.

On the flip side, confidence can sometimes carry people further than competence alone. Think of someone with average talent but unshakable belief—they’ll hustle, take risks, and learn as they go. Meanwhile, a quietly skilled person might stay in the shadows, their dream gathering dust. History’s full of examples: inventors, entrepreneurs, or performers who weren’t the “best” but believed they could be, while more capable folks faded out.

It’s not that competence doesn’t matter—it’s the foundation. But confidence is the spark. A chef might know every recipe by heart, but if they’re too scared to open a restaurant, that dream dies in the kitchen. A writer might craft brilliant prose, but if they never hit “submit,” the novel stays a file.

This also ties to action versus inertia. Dreams don’t just need ability—they need movement. Competence is potential energy; confidence turns it kinetic. Without that push, even the most capable people stagnate, letting their aspirations slip away not for lack of tools, but for lack of courage to use them.

So, expanded, it’s saying: “Countless ambitions wither not because the dreamer lacks the know-how or the talent to succeed, but because they lack the boldness to believe in their own strength. Skills sit idle when the heart hesitates, and it’s that hesitation—not incapacity—that buries what could have been.”

~Praveen Jada

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Overestimating the competition while underestimating yourself is a mindset that can quietly sabotage your potential. The flaw lies in how it distorts reality and cripples your ability to act effectively. Let’s break it down.

When you overestimate the competition, you put them on a pedestal. You might assume they’re smarter, stronger, or more capable than they actually are—turning them into unbeatable giants in your head. Say you’re up against someone for a job or a project: you imagine they’ve got every skill polished, every angle covered, and no weaknesses. In truth, they’re probably just as human, with their own doubts and blind spots. But by inflating their strengths, you give them power they haven’t earned. It’s like handing them a head start in a race they’re not even running perfectly.

Meanwhile, underestimating yourself does the opposite—it shrinks you down. You gloss over your own abilities, experiences, or grit, convincing yourself you’re outmatched before you’ve even tried. Maybe you’ve got a knack for problem-solving or a track record of persistence, but you dismiss it as “not enough.” This self-doubt blinds you to your own arsenal. It’s as if you’re fighting with one hand tied behind your back, not because you’re weak, but because you’ve decided you are.

The combined flaw is a warped lens: you see them as invincible and yourself as inadequate. That gap—whether real or imagined—breeds paralysis. Why bother competing if they’re “better” and you’re “less”? It kills your drive. You might not apply for that job, launch that idea, or take that risk, all because your mental scoreboard’s already marked you as the loser. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy: you don’t act, so you don’t win, which “proves” you were right to doubt yourself.

This mindset also ignores a key truth: competition isn’t static. Others aren’t flawless machines—they stumble, adapt, and misstep too. And you’re not frozen at your current level—you can grow, learn, and surprise yourself. Overestimating them locks them into a myth of perfection, while underestimating yourself denies your own capacity to rise. It’s a double distortion that keeps you stuck.

Practically, it wastes opportunities. Imagine two boxers: one over-hypes their opponent’s record and downplays their own training. They step into the ring already defeated, hesitant to throw a punch. The fight’s lost not on skill, but on perception. Real-world stakes—like chasing a goal or facing a rival—work the same way. If you’ve mentally checked out, you’ve handed over the win.

The deeper flaw is it robs you of agency. By exaggerating their power and shrinking your own, you surrender control to a fiction. Reality might be closer than you think—they’re not gods, and you’re not helpless—but you’ll never know unless you test it. Confidence doesn’t need to be blind; it just needs to balance the scales enough to let you step up.

So, the trap is this: overestimating the competition and underestimating yourself builds an imaginary wall too high to climb, when the real one might just be a hurdle. You don’t lose because they’re better—you lose because you’ve convinced yourself the game’s already over. Ever catch yourself doing this? It’s sneaky how the mind can rig the odds against us.

~Praveen Jada

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This is a powerful critique of contemporary life, and it accurately reflects a growing concern about the impact of technology and consumerism on our well-being. Here’s a breakdown of the key points:

“We are becoming slaves to what is urgent and sacrificing what is important to us.”

• This highlights the shift in our priorities. We are constantly bombarded with immediate demands – notifications, emails, tasks – that create a sense of urgency.
• This urgency often pushes aside our long-term goals and values – relationships, personal growth, meaningful work – which are truly important to our well-being.
• We’re reacting to the immediate instead of acting on the important.

“All the applications all the social media companies all the advertising companies all the food and consumer companies are using this weakness of the current generation because we are all looking for that immediate and instant pleasure…”

• This points to the deliberate exploitation of our psychological vulnerabilities.
• These companies design their products and services to trigger dopamine hits – the pleasure response in our brains.
• This creates a cycle of addiction, where we constantly seek out instant gratification, even at the expense of our long-term well-being.
• These companies use algorithms and psychological techniques to keep us engaged, and addicted to their products.

“…and we are losing site of long term consistent and sustainable fulfilment and satisfaction.”

• This emphasizes the detrimental consequences of this pursuit of instant pleasure.
• True fulfillment comes from meaningful relationships, personal growth, and contributing to something larger than ourselves.
• These things require time, effort, and consistency, which are sacrificed when we prioritize instant gratification.
• The effects are that long term happiness is being replaced by short term, and fleeting moments of pleasure.

Key Themes and Implications:

• Attention Economy: Our attention is a valuable commodity, and companies are competing for it.
• Dopamine Addiction: The design of technology and consumer products can trigger addictive responses in our brains.
• Loss of Agency: We are becoming passive consumers, rather than active agents in our own lives.
• Decline of Delayed Gratification: Our ability to delay gratification, a crucial skill for long-term success, is being eroded.
• The need for conscious consumption: It is important to be aware of how companies are using psychological techniques to influence us.

~Praveen Jada

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• Is it true.
• Is it really true – objective reality.
• How do you feel and act when it really happen.
• How do you feel and act if it really does not happen.
• Consciously prime yourself that the negative thing is highly unlikely and positive thing more likely to happen.

~Praveen Jada

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“The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it hates those that speak it.”
George Orwell

This statement highlights a dangerous dynamic between societal deception and the persecution of truth-tellers. It suggests that as a society increasingly embraces falsehoods and illusions, it develops a deep hostility towards those who dare to expose the reality. Let’s break down its components:

“The further a society drifts from the truth…”

• This implies a gradual and cumulative process of societal deception. It suggests that:
  • Societies can become entrenched in false narratives, propaganda, or comforting illusions.
  • This drift can be driven by various factors, such as political manipulation, economic interests, or a desire to avoid uncomfortable truths.
  • The more deeply ingrained these falsehoods become, the more they shape the society’s collective understanding of reality.
• This could also imply that the society is willingly drifting away from truth, in order to maintain a comfortable reality.

“…the more it hates those that speak it.”

• This reveals the consequence of this drift: a growing animosity towards those who challenge the prevailing illusions.
• This hatred can manifest in various ways:
  • Social ostracism and marginalization.
  • Verbal attacks and character assassination.
  • Censorship and suppression of dissenting voices.
  • Physical violence and persecution.
• The reasoning behind this hatred is multifaceted:
  • Cognitive dissonance: Truth-tellers create discomfort by exposing the gap between the society’s beliefs and reality.
  • Threat to power: Those who benefit from the prevailing illusions perceive truth-tellers as a threat to their power and influence.
  • Protection of comfort: People often prefer to cling to comforting illusions rather than face uncomfortable truths.
  • Scapegoating: Blaming the messenger for the bad news allows people to avoid taking responsibility for their own complicity in the deception.

In essence, the statement conveys these key ideas:

• Societies can become deeply invested in falsehoods.
• Truth-tellers pose a threat to these illusions, triggering a hostile reaction.
• This dynamic creates a dangerous environment where honesty is punished and deception is rewarded.
• The people who speak the truth are a direct threat to the false reality that the society has built for itself.

Implications:

This statement serves as a warning about the dangers of societal deception and the importance of protecting freedom of speech. It highlights the need for:

• Critical thinking and media literacy.
• Courageous individuals who are willing to speak truth to power.
• Strong institutions that protect freedom of expression.
• A society that values truth, even when it is uncomfortable.

The phrase “Fear is mile high and inch deep” is a powerful metaphor that highlights the discrepancy between the perceived magnitude of fear and its actual substance. It means that:

• Fear feels overwhelming:
  • “Mile high” signifies the immense, towering, and seemingly insurmountable nature of fear. When we’re gripped by fear, it can feel all-consuming, dominating our thoughts and emotions.
  • It suggests that fear can create a sense of panic and helplessness, making us feel as though we’re facing an impossible challenge.
• Fear lacks real substance:
  • “Inch deep” indicates that, upon closer examination, the actual threat or danger is often much smaller than we initially perceived.
  • It implies that fear is often based on irrational thoughts, exaggerated anxieties, and distorted perceptions.
  • It means that fear is more of a mental construct, rather than a reflection of objective reality.
• Fear is often disproportionate to the actual threat:
  • The phrase emphasizes the contrast between the intensity of the emotional experience and the reality of the situation.
  • It suggests that we often allow our fears to magnify potential problems, making them seem much larger and more threatening than they truly are.

In essence, the phrase means:

• Fear is a powerful emotion that can feel incredibly real and overwhelming.
• However, much of the fear we experience is based on our own perceptions and interpretations, rather than objective reality.
• By confronting our fears and examining them closely, we often find that they are much less substantial than we initially believed.

Practical Implications:

This concept has important implications for how we deal with fear:

• Don’t let fear paralyze you: Recognize that fear is often exaggerated and that you have the ability to overcome it.
• Challenge your fears: Question the validity of your fears and look for evidence that contradicts them.
• Take small steps: Break down large fears into smaller, more manageable steps.
• Seek support: Talk to someone you trust about your fears.
• Practice mindfulness: Being present in the moment can help you to separate your fears from reality.

~Praveen Jada

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Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everybody gets busy on the proof.

-John Kenneth Galbraith.

“Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind…”

• This sets up the core dilemma. It acknowledges that we are constantly presented with information and experiences that could potentially challenge our existing beliefs.
• “Changing one’s mind” represents a process of cognitive dissonance – the discomfort we feel when our beliefs and reality clash.

“…and proving that there is no need to do so…”

• This highlights the alternative path: defending our existing beliefs, even if they are flawed.
• “Proving that there is no need to do so” involves actively seeking out evidence that confirms our beliefs, dismissing contradictory evidence, and constructing justifications for our positions.

“…almost everybody gets busy on the proof.”

• This emphasizes the universality of this tendency. It suggests that most people, regardless of their intelligence or education, are susceptible to this cognitive bias.
• “Gets busy on the proof” implies a deliberate and active effort to defend our beliefs. This can involve:
  • Selective perception: Paying attention to information that confirms our beliefs and ignoring information that contradicts them.
  • Confirmation bias: Seeking out sources that reinforce our existing views.
  • Rationalization: Creating logical-sounding explanations for our beliefs, even if they are based on faulty reasoning.
  • Denial: Refusing to acknowledge evidence that contradicts our beliefs.
  • Attacking the source of the contradictory information.

Why This Happens:

• Cognitive dissonance: Changing our minds can be uncomfortable and emotionally challenging. It requires us to admit that we were wrong, which can be damaging to our self-esteem.
• Ego protection: Our beliefs are often tied to our sense of identity. Changing them can feel like a personal attack.
• Social pressure: We may fear being judged or ostracized by others if we change our minds.
• Sunk cost fallacy: We may have invested a lot of time and effort into our beliefs, making it difficult to let them go.
• Emotional attachment: Many beliefs are tied to our emotions, therefore changing a belief can cause emotional distress.

Implications:

• Obstacles to progress: This tendency can hinder our ability to learn, grow, and adapt to changing circumstances.
• Political polarization: It can contribute to political gridlock and social division, as people become entrenched in their beliefs and unwilling to compromise.
• Personal relationships: it can cause conflict in relationships when people are unable to see another persons point of view.
• Scientific advancement: It can slow down scientific progress, as researchers cling to established theories even in the face of contradictory evidence.

Overcoming This Tendency:

• Cultivate intellectual humility: Recognize that we are all fallible and that our beliefs may be wrong.
• Practice critical thinking: Learn to evaluate information objectively and to identify cognitive biases.
• Embrace uncertainty: Be willing to accept that there are things we don’t know and that our beliefs may change over time.
• Seek out diverse perspectives: Expose yourself to different viewpoints and be willing to consider them.
• Be open to feedback: Listen to others’ opinions and be willing to consider their perspectives.

By recognizing this tendency and actively working to overcome it, we can become more open-minded, adaptable, and intellectually honest.

~Praveen Jada

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