When you are convincing someone of something, then it needs to empower them. You need to sell them that they have the power to control the outcome. You need to make them believe that they deserve it. They need to have faith in the process and commit to delayed gratification.
When you are selling something, others must not feel disempowered.
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You gain confidence by showing courage consistently in pursuit of something you decided. You gain courage from facing fear and moving forward in the face of fear.
You feel scared when you do not have control over outcome. You feel fearful when you are in an uncertain situation. Your mind do not want to be in any unfamiliar place and situation.
But when you feel courageous when you win over your fears. You feel brave when you overcome challenges and difficulties.
You gain confidence by standing by your word and keeping your promises to yourself. You improve your self-confidence by showing courage to sticking to your decisions in matter what happens. You gain confidence by experiencing small victories. You need to build your confidence brick by brick and step by step.
You can compare your confidence level to the Credit score. You will have higher credit score if you pay your rents on time, pay your credit card bills on time, pay your bills and loans on time etc., This means that you have higher credibility and higher prospects for a bank to believe in you to grant loans to you. In the same way, you will have a lower credit score and credibility if you have a lot of missed payments.
Hence, your self-confidence is an internal credit score. More number of times you do what you say results in higher self-confidence. More number of times you don’t do what you say results in lower self-confidence.
Your confidence and courage is attached to your identity. If you lack self-confidence and courage, then when you have to confront a challenging situation you cannot believe in yourself to take a stand. You almost feel like you cannot trust yourself whether you will commit to it and see to the end. When you break your promises you made to yourself due to some reason, then you would not be confident say that you can do it.
Self-confidence and courage are built through repetitions and small victories over a period of time. Confidence increases when you keep the promises you make to yourself and to others. Confidence comes when you commit to your decisions and do not give up in middle.
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People are are change makers and leaders believe you are better than others , the believe that they are the one, they are the people who would make the difference, they have something special to offer to their community.
At these people believe in continuous improvement and growth mindset. They believe that there is always scope for improvement. They believe that everyone has the right to have more on this planet. They strongly believe that they are enough and they have enough resources to have more abundance in life.
They have self-control, self confidence and courage to take risks. They are more reliant on their instincts rather than constantly taking in external noise. They have immense self control to focus and commit themselves in achieving their goals.
They accept that when they are in the phase of achieving greatness, they might have to compromise on certain aspects of like like family time, relationships, may be some health issues, reducing party time, less presence in various events etc.,
People who leave legacy keep pursuing something that may never blossom in their lifetime. They might never reap the benefits of their labour in their lifetime. Legends plant seed in the hope that it grows into a tree and produces fruits which they may eat or they may not. Being a legend is to be a giver without expectations. Legends have a purpose in life and they inspire others to take over their purpose after their lifetime. Legacy is leaving a long lasting impact which become an source of energy to others. Leaving a legacy inherently means to leave something that is valuable for the others. Your values could be your ideals, morals, ethics, money, standards, principles, impact and contribution. Be a legend by leaving a worthy legacy. A legacy that positively impacts others lives.
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Everyone is an Alpha and the strongest person until they become dependent on someone or something else.
For example, the prime minister of a country is the most powerful person until he gets under the knife in operation theater.
No one is invincible. No one is perfect.
Everyone has weaknesses. Everyone has discrepancies.
Everyone needs help and support. No one is self made.
We need others because we are all vulnerable.
We are a social creature and needs collaboration.
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To be able to live in boredom, waiting, having patience, repeating, trying again and again, delayed gratification, struggle for pursuing what you love, ability to push through suffering are required realize your dreams and passions.
Many dreams and passions are killed during suffering and painful phases in life. People give up on themselves when they go through tough phases of life.
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There is nothing normal about winning
There is nothing ordinary about being extraordinary
To be outstanding you need to stand out
Essentially you need to move in the opposite direction of the crowd.
You need to stand out in the crowd.
You need to be unique in a culture of mediocrity.
You need to be different doing difficult things.
You need to be challenging things that are commonly accepted as norm.
You need to be comfortable being uncomfortable.
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When you go on a personal transformation journey, when you indulge yourself seriously in personal growth trajectory and personal development, then the normal things happening around you look different to you and you look different to a common person.
Improving your self-image and identity brings in some changes in you. Though they are positive attributes which are beneficial not only to you but also to the people around you, it is difficult for the people around you to accept the ‘new’ you immediately. It takes time for you to adopt and even longer time for the people around you to adopt to the changes taking place in your personality. Improving your self image and identity changes you to the core.
It is normal to have a different experience with you when your beliefs, values, thoughts, behaviour, attitude, decisions change. You yourself would look at the world with a different outlook and others would perceive you differently.
Meanwhile until you get and others get adjusted to the higher standard version of yourself, you might have accept the fact that you are going to be ignored at first, then you might be ridiculed and dismissed for a while, later you might even face backlash and people may revolt against you. However, when you believe in yourself and do not submit to outside pressure, there comes a time when you will proud of yourself. People who love you will accept you and follow you.
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When it comes to weight problems, the brain is running the show.
Unfortunately, this fact hasn’t been fully recognized, appreciated, or honoured in most discussions about weight gain and fatness.
Let me break it down for you.
Your brain is the source of your behaviours related to when you eat, what you eat, how much you eat, the type of movement your body performs, and regulation of body weight, fat composition, and hormones.
Your brain is not always rational in how it tells you to eat, and past stress can make you eat more. Stress is not your brain’s friend, and often the parts of your brain wired for survival will guide you to eat calorie-dense foods, even if you’re not at risk for food scarcity.
When you gain weight, your brain uses all the tools in its arsenal to make sure your body fat and weight retain the extra pounds. Your brain evolved in a way that it doesn’t want you to lose too much fat because you might starve to death. But it can be overprotective and consequently hold on to that belly fat that you are trying to get rid of.
Your genes and your body’s feedback signal (stress response, heart rate, metabolism, etc.) have developed such that humans defend weight asymmetrically: we fight against weight loss much more than weight gain. Weight gain doesn’t threaten our ability to survive like weight loss could, so evolution makes it much easier to gain weight than to lose it.
The brain sets a stable body weight for every adult, called the body weight set point, based on genetics, hormones, behaviour, and environment.
The set point theory holds that your brain strongly regulates and defends your weight at a predetermined point based on your body’s feedback loops. So, when you exercise more, you crave more food, and the scale doesn’t budge, and when you eat less, you get hungrier.
The bottom line is that weight problems are complicated, and the brain plays a significant role.
When it comes to controlling our weight, our approach to eating can be irrational.
But when you learn that it’s your brain body talking and not a lack of willpower or knowledge, that the brain regulates the weight of your body then you can learn, too, how to work with your brain to achieve the body weight set point you desire.
The amount of fat in the body tends to be relatively stable and maintained within a narrow range, but with age, the tendency is for total body fat to rise, and in lockstep, for weight to increase. As your weight rises, so does your body weight set point (your brain-based control and regulation of a stable body weight).
The brain regions that regulate food consumption and energy use also monitor how much fat you have in your body and respond to changes by offsetting your food behaviors and metabolism. All of this happens without your conscious awareness or control.
That’s what makes lowering one’s set point such a struggle:
If you lose weight, your brain will tell your body to burn calories more slowly (i.e., lower your metabolic rate) and tell your mind to eat more. Your brain body adapts to weight gain and then resists weight loss.
Conversely, if you gain weight, you’ll most likely be less hungry and burn more calories because of the added weight, but insulin could be stuck in the fat-storing position, so you continue to pack on the pounds as your body aims for that higher set point (sometimes homeostasis is totally annoying).
A vital ecosystem exists between your genes, behaviour, hormones, and environment when it comes to your body weight set point.
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One of the most embarrassing shameful and guilt inducing feeling that we could experience is to watch someone do something that you said to yourself is not possible and you couldn’t do it or you don’t want to do it.
What we generally do when we feel jealous of someone who is pursuing their dreams and refuting our limiting beliefs, we immediately get into victim mentality and complain about various factors that are stopping us from doing stuff. Instead of taking responsibility we start to put blame on others for spoiling our dreams and denying what we want in our lives. We also shame others achievements, we dismiss their hard-work and dedications, we reject their life by saying we do not want it. It is generally easier to criticize and ignore others than to work on ourselves.
When we say these words inside our heads for multiple number of times and keep repeating them whenever we find ourselves guilty for not doing what we supposed to do then this becomes a habit. We start identifying ourselves as victim and believe that we do not have what it takes to follow our passions. We start to believe that we are not enough and we do not deserve better things in life. We start to self-deny greatness in our life. We identify ourselves as not worthy of having great life that we want to have. When we speak in think language it disempowers you and strips yourself of creativity.
So stop above non-sense and speak to yourself in empowering language. You can do whatever you want right now. You can start now brick by brick and step by step. If you are in any trouble or negative phase in your life, you need to ask a lot of ‘HOW’ questions. The only way to think differently is to keep asking and continue with your efforts is thinking in possibility language. These solutions start with ‘How’ question.
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Your life experience is always some total of what you focus on, what you concentrate on and focusing on. It depends on whether you are controlling the things that you have control over. Your experience of life is not what is happening in the external world but your experience of life is dependent on the kind of meaning that you derive out of what is happening external world.
So your perception of the world is highly dependent upon your mind set and your internal state. You look at the outside world and experience it based on the your own interpretation. So the beauty or ugliness of anything outside of you depends on your beliefs and meaning you give it.
So your life experiences -> your beliefs -> your values -> your thoughts -> your thoughts -> your feelings and emotions -> your behaviour and attitude -> your choices and decisions -> your results -> quality of life.
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Having a victim mentality, behaving like seeking sympathy from others, telling everyone that you had the worst from the life is like an addiction and it is an uncontrollable unconscious habit.
It feels good for a while because you are distancing yourself from the responsibility and ignoring the fact that you are choosing to not take accountability. You constantly procrastinate to feel less guilty for your inaction. For many people there problems and difficulties in the life, thinking about the damage that happened in the life gives them sense of comfort at that moment. But the more you think of it, the deeper you get into depression. Feeling helpless and hopeless may give a temporary relief but soon you would find yourself in control of nothing in life.
Sometimes terrible things happen out of your involvement and control. You need to grieve and spend some time to reconcile. But the sooner you come to terms with the reality the better it is for you. Most of the times it you who need to save yourself. It is you who needs to push and push until you reach certain momentum. Things will change for better only when you move and take action. Or else it keeps getting worse. You can keep crying, you can keep blaming, you can keep complaining, you can feel pity for yourself, but the world around you moves on and you will stay where you are.
Unfortunately complaining about the way things are, blaming others for your life and finding fault in external factors for your situation would not improve your life. The more you talk about your woes, limitations and difficulties the stronger they become. They would disable you to take self responsibility to deal with the current circumstances and take accountability for your better future at least from this moment.
The more you memorize the negative events in life, the more you reinforce it in your brain. The more you repeat the stronger the it becomes a habit. They become patterns in brain wiring. After a while the brain gets a kick out of running the these memories (good or bad) they run automatically without real reason. They become part of you as you know what has happened in past and what kind of thoughts you are going to have now. Even though it does not add any benefit to you, you choose to stay in the familiar thoughts of victim mentality and do nothing about it.
When you feel like a victim, develop self-pity, feel like you are helpless and powerless then your thoughts would be disempowering. This impacts your outlook towards life and prevents you to take better decisions.
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Statins did not reduce the heart issues and problems,
metformin did not reduce the diabetes
BP drugs did not reduce BP
Gyms and various other lifestyle institutes like yoga centers, play zones, samba zumba did not reduce our lifestyle diseases or obesity
Advancement in cancer research and various drugs to treat cancer did not reduce cancer cases
These drugs must not be taken for life long . They are not some nutrients like vitamins or minerals which our body needs and our body is deficient.
There is no drug deficiency which we repeatedly use for various chronic diseases. They increase the lifespan by suppressing the symptoms and discomfort. But they reduce the quality of life. You suffer more due due to their side effects as long as you live.
Doctors suffer from various chronic disease higher than average population. Because they are also humans and they get into various health issue due to irregular eating habits, high demanding work hours, high stress due to lack of sleep and exercise or even unhealthy habits.
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Three types of people in this world
People who make things happen
People who observe things happen
People who don’t know what is happening in the world
There is also another saying which goes like this – A reasonable man follow the masses and accept the things as they are in this world but an unreasonable man decides to change things for better in this world.
This world progresses and advances because of those unreasonable men out there who are taking the heat on behalf of lot of people. World becomes better place because of givers and not takers.
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To pursue your interests you need time and patience
To pursue your passion you need to struggle
To pursue your life’s purpose you need to suffer
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There are no solutions there are only trade offs.
There are no perfect decisions there are only better decisions.
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