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• What would you do in a day if NO ONE CARES about what you intend to do.
• What would you do if no one gives a damn about how hard you are working to get better.
• What would you do on bad day.
• What would you do when nothing is working in your favor.
• What would you do if you are not noticing immediate results for your efforts.
• What would you do if you have a very bad fight with your loved ones.
• What would you do if someone gives up on you in the last minute.
• What would you do if you have to extend your time for some urgent escalation in your job.
• What is the smallest thing you can do today that could make a big impact later in life.
• What would you do if someone insults without your fault.
• What would you do if you don’t have a good mood.
• What would you do when feel like not moving and just lie around not doing anything.
• What would you do when you feel like no one is helping you or supporting you with your goals.
• What would you do if your own people are discouraging you when you are growing as a person.
• What would you do when your loving people are dragging you down when you are raising yourself by raising your standards.
• What would you do when you are tempted to break your promises and decisions you took.
• What would you do when your mind seeks instant pleasure over delayed gratification.
• What would you do when your brain resists short term struggle over long term fulfillment.
• What would you do when you brain tricks you out of your vision and mission.

Now write down what are are self-care activities that you would commit when above mentioned things happen to you. Anyone can stick to a routine and schedule when all is well in life. But what matters is how you behave when things are not great.

How you handle challenges and difficult situations in your life depends on how hard you work on your good days. Don’t take peaceful phases in your life for granted. Give your best during the good times so that you could have the courage and confidence to manage the tough times well. The strength that we develop must not only serve us but it must support others as well in times of need.

~Praveen Jada

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Protect your purpose and your purpose will protect you. Have passion to persevere. Have the quality of following through. Have grit. Grit is passion to persevere. Passion serves you but your purpose serves others. Purpose gives a meaning to your passion because your passion is meaningful to others. You are loving what you do and spreading your love to have a positive impact in others lives.

Anyone would be themselves and stick to their commitments when things are going great in life. What make the difference is what we do during tough times and show up when things are depressing. This is the difference between people who run the show and who sit on the sidelines.

~Praveen Jada

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• Your Biology – Physicality, fitness, physical strength, stamina, endurance, power etc.,
• Your psychology – Mental health and emotional strength
• Your Social Network – Family and friends, community
• Purpose and meaning in life – Your significance, your contribution and service to others, being a person who leaves a legacy for others to take inspiration to make their lives great

~Praveen Jada

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We can think of our mind as the process we go through in the time between and event and our reaction to it. Essentially how we process the information after the occurrence of an event (internally or externally) can be called as consciousness. Our state of mind depends on our consciousness. Our entire life can be looked as a miniature version of our consciousness. Our mind is nothing but our ability to process things that are are our our control and the way we react to them which is in our control.

~Praveen Jada

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Exercise is hard, but if you decide not to exercise or workout, so is having pains, aches, diseases, disorders, low energy, low brain power, low confidence, low strength. So choose your hard.

We need to break the habit of being ourselves.
Known hells are preferable to unknown heavens. Since we are so used to our beliefs and our comfort zone, we try to rationalize, create all reasons to remain in our comfort zone even though we know it is harmful to us.

The only limitations are in your mind. We have got push ourselves. That’s how we get better and that’s how all of us get better.

Imagine how you would wish and want to be in future and live it today. Means you need to think as if you were and then believe, think, feel, behave, make decisions and act that way. In this way you are going to draw the attention and attract the possibilities and opportunities towards you.

~Praveen Jada

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30% are immediately hypnotised and mesmerized by the propaganda and agenda by beloved leader who have their own ill intentions and selfish agenda

40% are skeptical and can sense the misinformation and disinformation, but they go along the crowd to not upset the apple cart, they are afraid of the consequences and do not face the wrath of the masses. so they join the crowd.

30% of the population are critical thinkers. they think for themselves and look at the situation objectively. they are not manipulatable. and some of them are rebellious and prepared to fight against the injustice.

~Praveen Jada

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You triggered me and tested my mental limits and limitations.
You have insulted me, belittled me, you dismissed and deprecated my job, my passion, my efforts, my selfless services, my hard work, our house and what we have. You can compare with others and senselessly made me feel guilty for no fault of mine. You told utter lies and false stories to everyone just to hide your insecurities, misbehaviour, and wrongdoing.
You have hurt me and that is the best thing that happened to me. You made me search for meaning in everything.
To deal with the stressful circumstances, I searched for various means to cope up. In the process I learnt the value of human life and value of service and value of living for something greater than ourselves.
I learnt about fitness, nutrition, and supplementation. All these made be a better and stronger person. Now I am not only serving myself but also helping lot of people to get better.
In the process of handle the conflicts between us and to deal with the life given to me, I read a lot of books on health, mindset, emotional health, listened to expert interviews and videos for thousands of hours, listened to many audio books. I self-taught and self-healed to a large extent. I have grown through the pain.
I realize that I am born for some bigger purpose and started to work towards something bigger than myself.
I am uncontrollably working on myself, learning, and improving. I started to believe that all this is not meant for me but for someone out there who is waiting to get healed because of me. I cannot stop and must not stop at any cost because I am going to leave a void if I quit. I will suffer and struggle until I lead a life that is purposeful to others and meaningful to me. A person like me is not meant for self but for to bring in a change in the society. To be an inspiration and a leader who brings a different perspective to the world. To think differently and do things differently. For the betterment of the society. To come out the victim mentality and take charge of our lives. I will not quit and give up as some people’s lives are dependent on me and I will not deprive them of my presence and impact.

Biggest benefit of all the is that I recognized that I must not be a people pleaser any more.

My worth does not come from meeting your needs, fancies, desires and requirements continuously. My self worth will not go down if you do not approve or insult me. My self-worth comes from what I believe about myself, my hard work and selfless service. Please those who love me will recognize this.

I agree to your very foolish needs and then I feel very bad in my heart that I should not have agreed to that. Anyway you will misbehave for anything that happens and comes in your mind, so I will choose to stick to what is right.

I will stop over explaining everything to you. You are an adult , if you strongly feel that you are absolutely right, do it. You can ask for suggestions from others and you can do whatever is in your control.

From now on I will not feel guilty for your bad emotional behaviour and rude attitude.

From now on I will just sit in my disappointment, sadness, misery and pain if you insult or misbehave with me. I will learn to stay calm. I will not react to all the insults that you throw at me or my family because I know who I am and what kind of service I am doing for everyone. Your rude attitude to hurt me shows your character and not mine.

I will choose to take the right decision and choices and stand by my word if I believe in heart that it is the right thing to do. At the same time I will not stop you from anything that you like to do in your capacity. Whether I do what you like or not, you will anyway get irritated for anything, so it is better to stick to my own beliefs instead of giving in to your tantrums.

I am not responsible for your negative emotional state and happiness. I can share happiness with you through life journeys, experiences, events etc., but I cannot make you happy. I can provide all the support to do things to be happy.

Happiness comes from what you do by yourself and for yourself. Happiness needs effort, work and time. Any happiness without effort does not last long. Happiness cannot be bought. Hope you will realize that some day.

I respect my limits and boundaries. I do not cross them just to meet your childish desires.

I will take care of myself by following a healthy lifestyle, with self discipline, responsibility, commitment, consistency, integrity and honesty throughout my life. This is who I am and this is the foundation of my personality.

~Praveen Jada

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You are your worst enemy, you are self deprecating, you are supporting your self limiting beliefs, you are playing the victim card and you are doing everything that you could do to stay in the mentality of a victim.

We are living a society where victim mentality is being revered. We are developing a society where adults and matured people who think rationally are scared by people who do not take any responsibility, who are complainers and constant naggers, who blame everything and everyone for their unhappiness and problems.

This again and you would realize that you are willing to die instead of putting in the effort, instead of working hard, instead of moving out of the comfort zone, you are comfortable to be vulnerable and show your vulnerability to gain sympathy from others. You would prefer to do nothing about improving your current state of life. This is unfortunate for you but fortunate for the system we live. People who play victim and feel hopeless and helpless are a boon to the society and various sectors for generating economy.

Various corporates and established frameworks in the system would take advantage of people like you and force them into perpetual cycle of dependency. You may become chronically feel dependent in the area of your health or job or financially. The system would make the believe that you are victim and there is no hope unless you keep consuming and paying for something in an endless cycle.

To make matters even worse we have a situation where our public and private systems are established to profit from the victimhood mentality . Maximum amount of profits are derived from people who are vulnerable, who do not have self-control, who do not have enough resources, who cannot think for themselves, who do not believe that they have control over their life, who are drifters and casual seekers of information. Weather it is media, whether it is politics, weather it is healthcare system, whether it is religion, whether it is movies or sports, the maximum amount of a benefit and profits are reaped out of the people who do not have a clear direction and self-reliance. If you are not a critical thinker and question at-least some of the things that we accept just because majority are doing, then you will remain in the constant state of earning to consume something that you don’t need. Towards the end of the life you would spend the hard earned money on all the things that you neglected when you have time to work on them.

~Praveen Jada

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First of all to be frank their opinion of me and their true nature knocked me out of my knees. I felt so stupid when I first discovered it, then I felt hurt, then I was furious and it was painful. It was a painful lesson about trust, and it was also a painful lesson but a lesson that I needed the most. I needed this lesson to be able to establish better boundaries and to level up as a person who is self-reliable, stronger and independent of them.

I asked myself what’s my goal here and what is the real meaning for this to happen in my life. I asked myself why did this happen to me and at this stage of my life. I asked myself if I deserve this and what did I do to go through this crap. I thought what’s in it for me. I thought what I am going to do. Am I trying to fix the person, am I trying to make them wrong, am I trying to repair the situation, am I waiting for a gotcha moment, should i prove them wrong, should i take revenge, do they really ? do they even deserve my time and attention, do they deserve any precious space in my mind. I don’t think so.

I felt there may be a time in my life where I can say myself out loud to the person that betrayed me “I know what you did and I will not have you people in my life because I will not surround myself with people who backstab, who insult, who can be so mean and rude, who blackmail. I can forgive you people but I can never trust you people with anything in my life and never involve you guys in anything personal to me”.

The I thought that what those people said and did to me is nothing to do with me. I believe that it has to do with their pain, it has to do with their own low mindset, it has to do with their coping mechanisms, it has to do with their trauma, their dysfunction, their insecurities, and inferiority complex.

But it doesn’t make it any easier for me when I am at receiving end of it. But when I say, and I repeat these facts, I personally believe it releases me of the pressure and impact of their attitude towards me.

I think what they said and how they behaved has literally has nothing to do with me. They are a bunch of hurt people who are powerless. They are a group of unconscious people who go on casually limping through life. They are hurt themselves who are unable to cope. Since they are unable to come to terms with their own insecurities, they are dealing with them by dumping their garbage on others to make them feel bad and they are getting a false sense of superiority. Unfortunately, that is false and unreal which they can never accept. If they accept, they are defeated, and they will be forced to feel guilty. And generally, people do not want to feel guilty and agree to their shortcomings and mistakes. So, they continue as who they are and they would choose stay blissfully ignorant of the reality and mistakes they make.

Their behaviour and rudeness does not determine whether I’m lovable or whether I trust people or whether I’m good enough.

They have revealed a very broken side of themselves that they have chosen to escape, numb, deflect all their inner demons instead of facing it in the mirror. They felt the pain of their broken selves through me and hence they attacked me with lies and accusations. They have hidden their heads in sad like an ostrich by kicking stones at me.

It’s hard because I have got to go through a process of grieving. I have to retrospect and grieve for a long time because I need to grieve for my imagined future with them and I need to grieve for the trust they broke with me. I need to grieve because I need to bury all my beliefs, feelings, trust, and relationship with them. It is traumatic and destabilizing but I need to grieve to let go of the past and prepare for a better future.

Of course I was upset and angry on myself for not identifying the true nature of these people. It is terrible because they accused and insulted me with absolute lies.

After a while I started to feel sorry for them because they’re suffering in their own ways. They internally suffer as they know that they lied or broke trust, insult, shout, or whatever because it’s easier to throw garbage on others than to face their own truths.

How do the complainers, criticizers, do nothing commentators, armchair activists, rude and offensive people get their energy?

• They numb their pain by dragging other people down instead of lifting them and supporting them.
• They get a false sense of satisfaction and temporary relief from their deficits in life by dismissing other achievements, by downgrading others hard work, by diminishing others selfless service and actions.
• They hide their own mistakes by saying something outrageous about others before others could point out their lies and mistakes.
• They keep escaping from their responsibilities and roles in life. They hide and hide and hide.
• They hide behind their superficial personalities and live on other shoulders without any remorse.
• They get energy by talking down others efforts and make others feel guilty for no fault of theirs.
• They devalue others to feel valuable.
• They get what they want by guilt feeling others and by taking hostage of others self-respect and self-esteem rather than achieving what they want through honesty and genuine effort.
• They keep jumping from one requirement to another and keep searching for things to consume to seek happiness.
• They need constant external validation from others, and they seek happiness from external sources.
• They are takers and not givers.
• They do not have anything to offer selflessly without any expectations.
• They plan and contrive and escape from responsibilities and duties.
• They want others to take care of them, praise them, treat them like royalty, help them, support them and they always feel they are entitled and special.
• In fact, they do not possess any attributes to feel special about themselves. So, to hide their false sense of self, they resort to demean, diminish, dismiss and ill-treat others so that others would not get a chance to say something to them.
• They live in constant fear and scarcity mindset.
• They live in the fear of missing out something and constantly pursue material things which give instant pleasure.
• They keep comparing with others and others lives and make their lives miserable and through their ill temper and misplaced perspective of life, they make the lives of people living them also miserable either purposefully or unconsciously.

So, I am convinced that I need to grieve and continue to grieve to the point where I do not have any feelings left towards them or how they behaved with me. I must become numb to their offensive behaviour. I must dive deep into my core to heal and rise as a transformed person. I need to work on myself to an extent what I feel grateful for what has happened to me.

I realized that personal excellence is an ultimate form of rebellion. I realized that I need to work on my mindset instead of giving my mind space thinking about others. Self-care and self-growth is the best way of show haters their place.

Looking back I decided to stop blaming myself. I did my best based on the maturity and wisdom that I have at that point of time. There is always a better way of handling things in life. But we would have done it better if we know any better. But that is not how life happens. Things happen when they are supposed to happen. We need to handle with the resources and wisdom we have at the point of time. Things in my life are way they are. I am who I am because of everything that happened to me and everyone that came in my life. They are not failures and insults but I consider them as lessons and sledgehammers. I need them to get a wake up call and transform myself – To become a better version of myself. There is a meaning to all these experiences and events in my life. I had to go through the hell not only for my benefit but may be for someone out their who is waiting for my services and learn from my experiences that could make positive impact in their lives.

I must strive to level up my standards. I need to keep living my passion and live a life of integrity. I will do everything that I could to surprise myself and inspire people around me especially my son. I am proud of myself for that way I handled myself and the situation. I did not stoop to their level and kept my decency and tried to be on the topic without resorting to personal attacks. I did not resort to harsh words or insults like them and spoke the truth even though it is painful and embarrassing to explain what is already clearly visible to them.

I kept saying these words before i fall for victim mentality and when ever I am down. “Hey Praveen, All your effort, pain, hard work will not wasted. You are doing all this work for something and someone out there. It is just that the moment has not yet come. Something amazing is going to happen in future that you have experienced at. It is going to happen when it is supposed to happen”

~Praveen Jada

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Take responsibility for everything that happens to you and in your life. Take responsibility for everything that is in your control. However, feeling that you are responsible for others happiness and feeling that you did something when somebody is unhappy or in a bad mood because of their own attitude then it is as bad and as was complaining and blaming everyone and everything else in this world for your problems.

Taking responsibility for how others feel, accept life and their happiness is similar to complaining and blaming for what is going on in your life.

We are living a society where victim mentality is being revered. We are developing a society where adults and matured people who think rationally are scared by people who do not take any responsibility, who are complainers and constant naggers, who blame everything and everyone for their unhappiness and problems.

So there is a fine balance that we need to maintain even when we are taking responsibilities. We cannot take responsibility for what others do and their own decisions. Every person has to take their own decisions and need to learn to accept the consequences of their decisions.

Of course we cannot leave our close ones and not be supportive of them. But at the same time you must define some boundaries and need to involve your people to be responsible for their actions. You need to discuss and constantly remind them that you will help and support to your best, but the other person must think for themselves and be responsible for the choices they make.

~Praveen Jada

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People are like garbage trucks. They keep adding junk and useless stuff in their lives. They do not empty it and keep going with the flow unaware of the garbage they are adding to their mind. This garbage could be negative information, negative events, anger, frustration, resentment, misery, revenge, disappointment, irritation, trying to control the uncontrollable, judgement, hurt, trauma, cynicism, pessimism, hopelessness etc.,

So, like a garbage truck we move around carrying all these junk negative energy states in us. A garbage truck unloads all the garbage in designated garbage disposal location. Similarly, it would great we if could dump our negative energy at some place or time. But we are humans, and we are highly emotional creatures. Sometimes garbage falls off the truck in some unlikely spots on road as it breaks suddenly or go on a speed bumper. But did it happen deliberately. No but it happened and unfortunately the people at those spots must bear the stink of the garbage. Similarly, many time people who are carrying a lot of negative emotions with in themselves may dump their negative emotions on most unlikely places and people. They show and vent out their frustration on people and circumstances for no reason. This is not how people need to behave but it is unfortunate that this happens quite often in our lives. People who cannot control themselves and cannot operate with consciousness are themselves suffering internally. Since they are in the state of suffering, it shows up in bad behaviour and attitude. People who interact with those people in those kind of occasions may be victims of their negative actions or could result in a fight.

~Praveen Jada

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We need to develop a culture where doing the right thing, making right choices taking right decisions, leaving a healthy lifestyle, choosing healthy means of living, eating well and sleeping on time cool again.

We need to make pursuing these noble attributes normal and a general expectation. This will not only benefit that person but also that person is going to strive towards greater good of the society and takes their family to higher level. He would be valuable member of the society and impact make a positive impact in the next generation.

Instead what is happening now in our society he is that victim mentality and self-pity is being celebrated, complaining is being celebrated, putting blame on anything and everything is being celebrated, taking easy route and making everything simple and being casual about everything is being considered cool and normal.

~Praveen Jada

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The path to happiness starts and ends in mind

All you can control in life is how you respond to life

~Praveen Jada

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When you are procrastination then check out what are you avoiding.
You are delaying what you are supposed to do because of fear of something. You are worried about something like failure or loss or rejection or approval.
You might be procrastinating because you might feel entitled and believe that there is no need to take an action. You just don’t do it because you have control over things and false idea of life.
You might be postponing because you are looking for a perfect time or day to start. This will never happen and there is no such day or time.

Procrastination is a dream killer because it is sneaky and it is in-built into the primitive part of our brain which relies on self-protection. It relies on our weakness like seeking instant pleasure, avoiding struggle and pain, conserving energy instead of expending energy. So when this procrastination voice says to us to delay it to tomorrow or do it after that event is over or suggests to us to start the work when kids go to school etc., This is tricky because this lazy voice is not telling us to quit our desire to do what is best for us but it is just postponing it to later. If it actually forces you to quit our decision, then we would immediately wake up and take action. But it is cleverly tricking us into not doing it now because it requires effort. So when we say to ourselves that we can do it later, we are making it easier for us at this moment (instant pleasure and avoiding struggle). Now we do not feel guilty as we gave a creative reason for not doing the work now. In order to justify our procrastination, we tend to indulge ourselves in some distraction which keeps us busy for a while. This behaviour runs in loop and it is self-serving.

So your mind has to be always stronger than your feelings. You cannot let your feelings get you again and again. feel the feelings and do it anyways.

~Praveen Jada

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If you are constantly empowering yourself with information, with strategies, becoming strong mentally physically emotionally spiritually, when you are in a constant process of self development, self improvement, optimising the human biology to prevent diseases and also to recover from the diseases and self reliant, then you are a threat to the system. Well established businesses running on the fear and the victim hood nature of the human beings.

Now you go to the health care system to any doctor or a scientist and talk about the natural means to optimise yourself and bio-hack your biology, perform like a champion, like an athlete, like an invincible human being then they would say that all the natural strategies that you are using including supplementation including the way you are eating including the way you exercising including the way you are conducting your lifestyle everything is not scientific and it is harmful and even have side effects.

~Praveen Jada

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