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You gain confidence in life by doing stuff that tires you, challenges you, that scares you, that makes you anxious and nervous, that induces some healthy pain which only makes you grow. When we keep doing uncomfortable tasks, we make mistakes , through that we try to learn and improve, next we grow and become stronger than the last time. This is how we gain self-confidence going step by step and laying brick by brick.

When you are rewarded with minor achievement multiple times you improve on your self-confidence. Confidence attained in one area of life will be extended to other aspects with let’s us take up new challenges with newly attained confidence. With this you have the required mindset to stick to an activity for a longer period of time even though you keep failing and do not see immediate results. This is how you develop commitment towards your passion. This is how you become stronger and more courageous.

Everything in life has polarities so in order to experience bliss you must experience pain. I believe if everything is always just lukewarm you never really know the real heat or chilling cold. I think most people don’t ever push themselves towards something because they’re always in this world of comfort. We’ve created a world  of tremendous comfort, everything’s just easy.

Idea of doing the hard things is becoming intentional in current world because we are no more chased by a lion to save our lives, we no need to hunt for food, we no need to strive for survival from elements of nature, we no need to think much of protecting and fighting for our family. This is how our reward systems are designed in our primitive brain as human race has survived like this for millions of years. However, obviously we do not have all these possibilities in this modern world and hence our evolutionary reward systems starve due to which we indulge in many kinds of instant gratification activities. So if you don’t intentionally seek out things that are challenging to you you’ll never know the real potential and strength in you. We need to respect our reward systems for us to feel alive every day. Sitting in comfort and avoiding challenging situations will only make us feel disinterested towards everyday routine.

If we do not choose the kind of life we want for us, then be prepared for someone else to choose it for you.

It’s never the skills and tactics. I could give people the best workout plan and the best nutrition plan in the world but many people still seem to fall short. So we need daily action items which are minor and small tasks that they could accomplish on a daily basis. These minor improvements gives them the initial confidence that they deserve better health and fitness. For most people it’s starting with small victories . Like walking 20 min daily no matter what, where ever you are, remove two unhealthy items food items in your diet that are not serving you etc. and then we start building on this habit stacking we start building  on those small victories. This is how confidence is gained in any are in life.

~Praveen Jada

*Do read the Disclaimer

People who truly thrive in life are the people who are willing to do the things no one else is willing to do. Like just sit without getting distracted without touching ones smartphone or meditate, that’s including the ability to do the hardest sets in the gym. Most people are not willing to do that because of the story they tell themselves as to why they can’t and why they won’t.

People feeling and believing strongly that they can’t do stuff that is hard but obviously right thing to do at that moment, mostly do not value the importance of delayed gratification. If you really want to succeed in anything, If there’s a fire in your heart to do something it’s going to take way more than you think and you talk about. There will be days where you are down.

Kids are the wonderful human beings. They’re energetic, there are days where they will be screaming, yelling, banging and breaking stuff. It irritates you but that’s not a reflection of them rather a reflection of our inability to respond to that stress. Yes there are days when that stuff bugs me. If my wife is irritating there’s nothing to do with her and everything to do with the way my body is sensing. It is more about the self narrative that you tell yourself. Do you want to deal with the inconvenient and stressful situations gracefully or just snap at them.

It’s really hard to create this mindset that I want to be to be a champion lifter in the gym, it is hard to build a mindset to give my best service in the job, it’s really hard to create this mind that’s this romantic caring husband to my wife, it’s really hard to create this this dad who’s able to play toys and jump with my son. It just takes mindful effort and consistent practice.

This is where being committed to something daily, creating a routine that gives a chance for you to struggle, face challenges and overcome them makes you show up with your strong mindset. You will be game to play with your kid, say rhymes and jump with kids, talk and listen to your wife, sit and meditate, control your urges to constantly get distracted, resist various temptations that are not good for us .

I consciously say to myself that I must not be stressed and must not show it . I must not bring home work related stress. I must be fully present when I am with my kid and wife.

I have to sometimes take a deep dive into my own mind to understand why I must go in there and have a good hard workout. I’m tired I don’t want to go. I’m hungry there are lots of other places to be than going to the gym. But at the same time thoughts like – What I have to do, who do I have to become, Who am I,  Why am I here , Who am I impacting, How am I helping others in the world, Why am I doing this – These thoughts fuel me up. 

Explore your self doubt . Where’s it coming from, why is it there and realize that it’s probably some story that you’re telling yourself or maybe someone in your past planted these thoughts or some belief that has been kind of cast on you from your parents or someone in your past. It’s not a bad thing and maybe it’s a fuel. Maybe it just requires you to forgive everything and then thanking them. Being legitimately truthful and grateful to them to say thanks for making the person that I am and allowing me to be stronger and allowing me to be resilient to stress

If there’s something that’s hard in your life now it’s because you need to grow. So I intentionally try to bring those challenging things into life.

Why not do some meditation at night before sleeping. Why not daily try to write down my thoughts and journal my experiences. Why not spend time with kids even though you are tired and hard pressed with time. Why not spend quality time with wife talking various things. Why not do workouts daily that gives that strength and positive fuel to mind to take on the day, why not do intermittent fasting that challenges you mentally and physically and gives you a chance to prove to yourself that you have the will and self control to stick to a lifestyle.

~Praveen Jada

*Do read the Disclaimer

One more thing that happens when we start to realize the benefits of our new habits is that we start to analyze why we didn’t do it in the past and why did we give up in the middle in the past. This creates a struggle in the mind which pushes us to believe that we are most probably going to give up this time as well. We get judgmental about our wrong decisions in the past. We could self-sabotage our current possibility. We need to forgive ourselves for our past mistakes and use them as the reasons to prove our self-worth and prove our new found commitment. We need to stop dwelling on the things that we failed in the past, we need to stop our past experiences defining our preset possibilities. You need to believe that you are a changed person now, you learnt from your mistakes and you are ready to use them to improve yourself now.

One very important fact we need to keep in mind is that we are who we are today because of numerous mistakes and mess ups we made in our past life. We are humans and that is how we transform and grow.

It is fine to fail in some things and lacking certain skills. Now you have the possibility of developing in those areas. The pleasure and fun of learning, improving and becoming an expert is unbelievable.  This is the kind of attitude that keeps us going. Taking it as a challenge and trying to gain mastery in a new task is very beneficial mentally and physically. This keeps our brain healthy and develops new neural patterns. Improves neuroplasticity.

When you choose to struggle and reach mastery in certain area, now you have the discipline and confidence to embark on other possibilities and interests of yours. Now you are more open minded and mature than before to handle the next mission.

You don’t get anything in life just by sitting on couch watching mindless programs on TV or lying on the bed or go for a shopping when you feel bored.  Right kind of effort and struggle is what keep you hopeful and motivated to do better things in life.

Like for example how to endure a short phase of inactivity in our daily lives. We immediately go for our phones to check our for notifications. Even having some time to sit idle and doing noting for a minute is becoming a discomfort these days. We want to be always distracted to get a false sense of busyness. I think that endurance and facing something, building up that ability to endure things is a very important mechanism that you could apply to everyday life.

~Praveen Jada

*Do read the Disclaimer

It does not need much of a mental strength and effort to do difficult things and have self-discipline when everything is going fine. Our will power and determination will be tested when we are having hard times.

It is on the days when you are physically or emotionally beaten down that determines whether you are a quitter or a doer based on our actions. We are defined by our choices and decisions we make on daily basis. It is the days when you absolutely want to quit and do nothing defines our strength and resilience.

When I started to transform my lifestyle with a proper exercising routine and improved diet, my body received a shock and was in an adjustment mode for 2 to 3 months. This is also partly due to my inexperienced exercise pattern and imbalanced diet. I was still learning a lot of stuff by reading articles and watching expert videos on how and why to do certain things. So the first few months are about me gaining knowledge and putting it to practical use in my daily routine. It was a process of figuring out what suits my body. But it was a slow and tedious process which consumed a lot of my mental and physical energy. And along with the work at office, my energy and focus used to get drained by evening. Resting is a luxury for me when I return home as I have a small kid who is hyper active and demands my time with him till late at night. This involves playing with him, sometimes feeding him food, carrying him around our block etc. This results in insufficient resting and recovery time. We all know how it feels like when we are mentally and physically exhausted and did not rest get enough rest to recover – we simply do not wish to wake up in the morning and our brain forces us using all kinds of reasons to take rest. The alarm sounds like the most disgusting noise and putting our feet on the floor would be a mental torture.

Now what happens to us and what kind of story we tell ourselves during these kind of circumstances would define our path and progress in life. Our brain most obviously wants to save our energy and wants to avoid any kind of discomfort or pain or struggle or extra effort.

So the most common thoughts we get during these times are like why do I have to do this, for who should I do this, will it be of any use in long run, will I be able to stick to this routine forever, will it really make any difference to my life in future, is there any benefit after all this hard work, nothing happens if I compromise once, nothing happens if I wake up late and don’t go to gym for one day, who cares if I do r not do, why should I struggle as no one is recognizing my efforts, why should I strive to be fit and healthy by exercising, eating healthy when I am not even into such kind of profession, why I am I torturing myself when I can sleep extra two hours , who cares if I eat pizza or muffin or chicken salad, why should I do this when nobody is supporting me, why should I continue when nobody is understanding what I am doing and simply discouraging me, nobody is going to appreciate my work so why should I do it, I will not be able to be consistent and do it every day for the rest of my life due to a lot of uncontrollable external factors so why to struggle and do it now, who cares if I sleep late or wake up early and nobody is appreciating my efforts. These negative self-limiting thoughts will keep popping up in our mind when we wake up early morning at 5 AM. On the top of it when we wake up early to exercise to put myself though pain and struggle, our mind gives us a tough fight to choose a safer, comfortable and easier option, that is to just hit the sack and take a nap for extra 2 hours.

These are times we need to remind ourselves of our values and our decision, the promise we made and the resolution we made, what our vision is, how we want to be and how we would like to be inspired and inspire others, how we can stick to our commitment., Our will power will be tested , our disciplined will be questioned and we must not budge down. We need to be hard on ourselves, we need to be persistent and kick ourselves out of our negative and limiting thoughts and be an inspiration to ourselves and for our loved ones.

These are the times we have to stick to the principles are we defined by. How we want to see ourselves in future, what decisions we need to take now to feel proud of ourselves later. How can we create a story worth telling to our kids and grandchildren. How can I be a role model , how can I lead by example, how can I be true to myself and keep the promises I made to myself, how can I be a hero of my own story and be a hero for my kid, how can I matter to my people, how can I create an impact that could change other’s life for good, how can I be a person who treads though pain, discomfort and struggle to be a better version of oneself every day, how can I suffer less and be a strength to others in times of turmoil, how can I be identified honesty, integrity, accountability, consistency, discipline, persistency, improving, growing, learning from mistakes , not giving up, how can I create a self-image to be proud of and others could be proud of one day.

There were many days where I want to give up or quit.

• Did I love to go to gym and follow a disciplined routine even in those days, may be not but I did it because it is the right thing to do and that is what I believed in.
• Did somebody give me any credit for putting those extra efforts to balance all areas of my life no matter what my condition was. No but I did it because this is what we need to do and must do to be happy in life now and later.

It is about making time for others, putting others in front of me and my own goals and mission. It is about bringing that smile on my family’s face at the end of the day, talking to them, laughing with them, play with my kid, how can I push myself to attend to my family’s needs and expectations despite being busy. How much can you give to your family and loved ones and how strong you want to be connected to them.

I had my own physical injuries and stress injuries to my wrists, elbows, knees, neck, shoulder, back at various stages. I believed in active recovery and had confidence that doing some kind of exercise in gym is much better then sleeping at home which is not beneficial physically or mentally after certain hours of rest.  I had a strong conviction that those were the days we need to hit the workouts . It gives more pleasure and sense of achievement when we handle difficult stuff when we are down with pain. It only makes us more resilient to manage the difficulties when we are not in a prime condition.

Marriage or close relationships are one of the biggest contributors for emotional disturbance is not dealt with proper care. Marriage has its ups and downs after we are living with another person who has their own thoughts, upbringing, behaviors, values, outlook towards life, morals and own idea of what is right or wrong , what is difficult or easy and difference of opinion on lot of things in life. Of course we argue and fight for things that might look significant at that moment but  seems to be trivial later. But yes we lose our nerves and control and get into fights which only transforms into a an awkward silence between two of us until we come to truce. These hostile phases in relationships takes a huge mental toll on us because we feel totally lost and do not know what to do. In these kind of situations we always look for various options to change other person’s attitude, we want to prove them wrong, we feel why don’t they understand us, why can’t they be more mature, why don’t they grow up, how can they have the gumption to say things to me that way, how dare they question me and in very rare cases we might even think whether is it worth spending any more time with this person. However, say ‘SHUT UP’ to yourself and stop these negative thoughts. Instead of controlling others and expecting others, do your best to change and strength internally so that you could deal with these kind of circumstances.

Situations like these spike up our cortisol and adrenaline levels which makes us restless, anxious, furious and messes up without rational thinking. We could lose  sleep and can’t sleep properly even if we fall asleep. We wake up totally tired and exhausted.

Would we be forced to skip rituals and compromise on our discipline, sure yes and our mind forces us to give up on each and every task that takes extra effort. Our mind just want to perceive everything thing around us to be worthless and just want to save energy to keep us alive. Becoming hopeless will make us become disinterested in everything we do. We do not see any meaning in pursuing important and valuable activities which are also difficult and painful at the same time.

Do it anyways. Go to the gym and toil it out even when you are mentally drained. Go do the work necessary and complete your rituals and just remind all your values that defines your strong self-image and identity.

These are the times you must workout, eat right to compensate for all the mental stress and agitation you go thorough. Through workouts you get the necessary hormonal release like endorphins, dopamine, BDNF  that relieves you from the anxiety. In most cases we tend to get into a positive and inspirational mood for us to let go of our ego and make up without loved ones. Many times you refresh your thoughts and come out of workout more positive and confident. When you are more confident and stronger you are inclined to take right decisions and more beneficial to you in the long run. You would not be bogged down by self-limiting beliefs that you become smaller by being the one to talk truce with your significant other.

Sometimes especially when kids are young at the age of 2 to 4 years they would get sick frequently. In those times the level of stress and additional effort depends on the kind of trouble they get into. Definitely we would get less sleep along with them. They would be cranky and we need to deal with it. They need special care and attention which takes extra time and effort. If takes effort even to make them take medications.

These are times we get thoughts of deviating and giving up on our disciplined daily routine. Yes, I agree that taking care of our kid is a priority. But what could you do when the baby is asleep , what could you do early in the morning, what could you do during the day in those minor gaps of time you have for yourself. How can you utilize whatever time you have to do something related to your interest and passion. How can you commit whatever insignificant time and effort that moves you a millimeter towards your goal.  What can you listen, watch or read to keep yourself motivated and pumped up to do your best in times of struggle. What can you do to negate those negative thoughts and stress and feel fulfilled as you are doing your best as a parent keeping yourself calm and balanced.

During these demanding situations our actions, involvement and responses depend mainly upon our mental strength and our confidence on our physical abilities. This is where Intermittent Fasting (IF) helps me. IF made my body a self-sustaining machine which enables me to focus and take care of all urgent needs without worrying about the food or diet or exercise.

Now the scenario that I am about to discuss could be relatable to many of us working parents. Almost daily when we return our homes from offices commuting through terrible traffic, we feel like falling on to our couches and feel like doing nothing, we want to just watch TV or Netflix, and hit the bed to have uninterrupted sleep. Basically we no longer want to do any activity that consumes more of our physical or mental energy. When we are low on our energy and will power we want to do things that gives us some pleasure and instant gratification.

You need to keep going even if no body at home or anyone else understands what you have been through and what you are feeling or even if you want somebody show some pity and appreciation for what you are dealing with yet nobody does.

~Praveen Jada

*Do read the Disclaimer

• To feel invigorated for the day, to be able to win self-impose challenges in the gym so that I can positively trigger my evolutionary brain reward system in a healthy way.
• To begin the day with right intention and take action to prepare a strong mindset for the day.
• To fuel my body and mind with healthy endorphins and hormones which keeps me in a positive and growth state of mindset for the day.
• To see me overcome the negative self-talk, to beat the resistance that my body and mind throws at me every morning, to prove myself that I can for sure dominate all my negative self talk, to prove to myself that I am the controller and master of my thoughts and decisions I make.
• To become stronger day by day and week by week and month by month.
• To validate that I have the discipline to do what it takes to be consistent
• To have a feeling that I deserve what I eat and deserve the rest I need.
• To get a sense of satisfaction for taking care of my body needs
• To instill a sense of confidence that I am a better man than yesterday and I am going to handle the day in a better manner than yesterday.
• To respect and keep the promise I made to myself.
• To keep my promise that I will be the role model for my son and to be a motivation to him.
• To respect the fact that we need to do what is difficult , hard and painful to have a future with less suffering.
• To assert that better days will come and right opportunities will show up if we keep moving in right direction, if we keep persisting in hard times, if we do what is right.
• To develop a mindset to keep moving towards my mission and vision in spite of opposition and negativity.
• To be ready for the right opportunity and make use of it.
• To keep developing and improving self confidence and courage to handle difficult situations in life.
• To gain and strengthen the ability to face my fears .
• To gain more knowledge and experience to share inspire and  impact other people.
• To serve an example for discipline, consistency and hard work.

~Praveen Jada

*Do read the Disclaimer

Motivation rarely propels us to take the right action. Feeling and being motivated continuously is not possible. Rather our consistent actions with right meanings attached to them and purpose behind them could inspire us to do the work and keep us motivated. Motivation comes from external sources. Inspiration comes internally within us. If we are inspired from within when the work we do has a meaning attached to it.

We should not be defined by our mood and the happenings of the day, things have to be done regardless of the situation we are in. Watching motivational videos and reading self-help books could instigate us to take some action, but it would not last long or it would be inconsistent unless we have a clear purpose behind why we are taking an action. Unless we realize the true benefit of doing what is right and what is in our best interest, any kind of motivation does not work.

I am sure everybody knows what is right and what is wrong, what is healthy and what is unhealthy, what is a right attitude and what is good behavior. We definitely know that every decision and action we take now has an effect on our life later. Whether the result is positive or negative would be based on our decisions we take now  and choices we make now.

• Not every day is a bright sunny day welcoming you out of bed
• Not every day you feel the energy to go to office and give the best performance
• Not every day you get the kick to exercise or go to gym
• Not every day you would have the mood to do difficult and hard things
• Not every time you will have the will power to stretch and do the right things
• Not every time you feel the benefits of healthy habits
• Not every time things turn out the way you expected
• Not every time you find your loved ones behaving well and treating you well
• Not every time you would receive the appreciation you deserve
• Not every time you would be thanked for your services
• Not every time you would be recognized and appreciated for the work you do
• It is not every time you get what you want in life even after giving your best

It is our duty and obligation to do what we are supposed to do regardless of the end results. If the intentions are right, then the positive outcome could come late but it will come. Best intentions and right actions will always lead to better inspiration to perform and they become our motivation to achieve more.

It is worth to fight and struggle for those ‘Once in a Lifetime’ moments of our lives . Those moments could arrive late but will be worth the wait. It requires persistence, consistency and age old ‘hard work’.

For instance , Just start exercising or going to gym, no matter how you feel. Just give the best efforts in your personal and professional lives, no matter what. If you are passionate about something, just do something about it every day no matter what. If you have a mission and bigger purpose for a greater good of the society, do something about it every day.

Be true to yourself and stay committed. Give your best and have patience. You will be proud one day. That day might come late but it is worth the wait.

Taking Action requires a ‘Plan’ and our ‘Planning’ needs to be done for our goals. Our goals will not be achieved if we do not have a plan and our plan cannot be implemented if we do not take the decision to act upon the plan.

~Praveen Jada

*Do read the Disclaimer

We all lead our daily lives cyclically without new challenges or opportunities that would test us. As humans we need challenges to feel empowered, to be alive and take on each day with aplomb.

If we take notice of what is going on with us, we generally wake up with no specific objective in mind, we might not feel very enthusiastic of the upcoming events or activities in the day, we eat food prepared by someone else, we travel to our workspaces in an AC vehicles, we sit in AC offices, we browse social media, when we come home may be watch TV relax and go to bed. With all this running around, we never get a chance to think of how to test ourselves physically and mentally, how do we realize our endurance levels, what is our tolerance level, what is our resilience, what is our strength.

Setting the tone for the day is important. We need to get that surge of mental energy to jump out of bed. Which activity makes you wake up early every morning which in turn sets the energetic tone for the rest of day, what will give you that sense of achievement which extends further through out the day, which makes you empowered to take on different daily requirements with better efficiency.

You definitely should be able to connect to it, clear idea of why you want to do it, a reason to be that has bigger purpose in future, a larger mission.

Everyone of us is gifted with a body and mind. One thing that everyone of us can do every day is improve ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally. We can use different strategies and tools to become more efficient, fitter, stronger, test your tolerance levels of pain and struggle.

Your body and your mind are the areas you can control, challenge and test yourself without many restrictions. This is how you can see how resilient you are, how tough you are, how can you cope up with stress, what are your tolerance level of pain and struggle.

Putting ourselves into this hard work, pain, pushing through that extra mile will only make you deal your daily stuff so much better. When we push ourselves to go through the challenging and strenuous activity everyday against resistance and our negative self-talk, we will be empowered with higher confidence in ourselves that we can do the difficult stuff. This is one the most effective ways to build our strength and courage. This is completely in our control to see ourselves crossing our comfort zone.

When we keep the promise we make to ourselves every single day, our self-respect raises and enables us to handle the situations in life efficiently.

How do you overcome your negative thoughts and self-limiting beliefs that you can’t do, that you don’t have it in you, that you don’t have the strength, that you cant keep this promise, that you cannot make a decision stick with the plan. The morning routine and the things that you practice and do as rituals will help you to just eliminate a lot of negativity and create a aura of positive empowering thoughts and outlook for that day.

When you are grateful towards everything in life, you respect and value everything in life, you just strive to be the best version possible. You will do your best to keep you body and mind in good shape. You will do your best to contribute to your family, your work. When we do this daily and see ourselves growing, we empower ourselves to handle the situations in life with more skillfully. Being consistent and gaining momentum will keep you going and closer to your better self on a daily basis.

~Praveen Jada

*Do read the Disclaimer