Our world is filled with ‘should’. What we should be doing. What is good for us. What should be done so that we can get settled. And then we have people mostly our closed ones and well-wishers saying – You should do this and you should do that. For what ? To have certainty, to be stable, to settle, to have good life, to get married, to have a house, to have children, to educate them, to send them abroad, to get them married, and one day most probably sit in drawing room watching mind numbing polarizing news, reality shows or serials or sporting events that run for days etc. And to be frank, there is nothing wrong if one desires a life like this in long run.
People like friends or colleagues say things and we getting bombarded with statements like you should go watch movie, you should go eat this and should not eat that you should go visit that resort, you should dress like that, you should be like this or talk like that, you should believe certain things, this is bad and that is good, you should study that course, you should get a job by certain age, you should get married and have children to become complete, you should buy a house or a car, you should.
Generally ‘Should’ is how others expects you to be or to do. ‘Should’ comes from external. ‘Should’ is something that majority of us does to keep things going. ‘Should’ is something that comes under societal norms and ‘should’ is something that we do to meet the requirements of the general public. ‘Should’ is something we do to be accepted in a community and be part of a group. Sometimes ‘Should’ is something that because someone said so.
Normally should stops us from living that way we want. Should keeps us away our ‘Whys’ – the reason and the purpose of our lives. It keeps us away from exploring new possibilities in life and pursue real meaningful tasks.
Shoulds are predictable not very complex tasks. They normally have certainty like ‘if not this then that’. You most probably could sail through with minimum effort. You might face less challenges and lesser resistance from external factors.
Challenges and struggles are required to learn , grow, become stronger and to become confident and courageous.
The question here is what you want to do, what you aspire, what you believe is important to you. This brings us to what we MUST do. All the activities we venture into with a MUST MINDSET requires commitment.
Our interests, passions and aspirations fall under MUST domain. The things you love to do and feel passionate about fall under the MUST category. Here it is filled with challenges and you could enter into an unknowing territory. These ventures require your passion and immense will power to keep going.
Here you are going with your ‘musts’ and ignoring all the should people prescribe in our best interests. So it could be unconventional. It could be risky because many people have not explored this domain. When people feel that they are unsure of what you are doing and they fear for your decisions, then you have to realize that it is something unconventional that you are trying to do. Others may not be able to relate to what you think and want to do in life because they did not think that way. Many people who failed or do not consider themselves as ‘doers’, most probably will bring the people down who think unconventionally and want to reach higher standards in life.
While achieving ‘MUSTS’ you can expect some surprises. Some may be pleasant and some sad. Here you will face some trials and tribulations which will give you a chance to grow through the storm. This makes you stronger and courageous.
So take the first step today. Take a decision to act on your wants and musts. Should will not take you to an esteemed position. Should normally would not give you a chance to contribute. By just doing the shoulds in life, it is difficult to be fulfilled and be proud of oneself in the long run. ‘Musts’ would give you a chance to create an impact and leave a legacy behind you. It is worth our effort, time and sacrifices in pursuing our ‘MUSTS’ in lives as they are the ones that give meaning to our existence and make us feel alive.
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References:
Some Excerpts from various articles written by motivational and lifestyle coaches