1. To flip the power dynamic in a confrontation, just ask: “Did you mean to say it that way?”
2. Let your breath be the first word you say. Especially when someone’s saying something you don’t like.
3. 5-7 seconds of silence after an insult is more powerful than any comeback. “If you’re going to say something ugly to me and then I just let it hang, it is one of the most powerful moves.”
4. The person who speaks last in a heated exchange usually has to apologize first.
5. You’re not doing anyone a favor by sugarcoating bad news. “The compliment sandwich is a little hard to chew and almost impossible to swallow.”
6. Label the conversation. Every difficult discussion should start with: “This is going to be hard to hear.”
7. If you always operate at a 9, people won’t recognize your 10. If you’re always at a 3, people will listen when you raise to an 8. Save the escalation.
8. Too many people treat conversations like volleyball… Just because you say something, I don’t have to have an opinion on it. Just because you threw words at me, doesn’t mean I have to hit them back.
9. Always have something to learn, not something to prove.
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