King Solomon is synonymous with wisdom and great advice. But in his personal affairs, he was incredibly shortsighted. His story has given rise to the concept of Solomon’s paradox. Studies have proven that we are much better at giving rational and useful advice to other people rather than ourselves — we’re much more expert when we’re distanced from a situation.
King Solomon of ancient Israel was known the world over for his wisdom and fair justice. Yet, in his own life, he was notoriously shambolic. His poor parenting gave rise to one of the cruelest tyrants in the Bible, his son, Rehoboam, who turned Judah into a pit of abomination and sin. Solomon had many pagan wives and concubines, with a likely host of illegitimate children. He was profligate and extravagant, and gave little thought to the temperate, sensible life. For all his sagacity when it came to others’ affairs, Solomon was woefully myopic when it came to his own.
In 2014, a paper from psychologists Igor Grossman and Ethan Kross introduced the idea of Solomon’s paradox. Their research revealed two things. One was that people “display wiser reasoning… about another person’s problems compared with their own.” In other words, there’s a widespread social cognitive bias that means we are much better at dealing with other people’s lives and problems than our own.
Solomon’s paradox teaches us, then, that if we want to give ourselves good advice, we ought to take a step back. If we want to make positive steps in improving who we are, we need to treat our own lives like we would characters in a book. Talk to yourself like you are giving an advice or suggestion to your loved ones or a best friend. What would you say to them if they are facing the same situation as you are.
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