Victim mentality and self-pity is a habit

Having a victim mentality, behaving like seeking sympathy from others, telling everyone that you had the worst from the life is like an addiction and it is an uncontrollable unconscious habit.

It feels good for a while because you are distancing yourself from the responsibility and ignoring the fact that you are choosing to not take accountability. You constantly procrastinate to feel less guilty for your inaction. For many people there problems and difficulties in the life, thinking about the damage that happened in the life gives them sense of comfort at that moment. But the more you think of it, the deeper you get into depression. Feeling helpless and hopeless may give a temporary relief but soon you would find yourself in control of nothing in life.

Sometimes terrible things happen out of your involvement and control. You need to grieve and spend some time to reconcile. But the sooner you come to terms with the reality the better it is for you. Most of the times it you who need to save yourself. It is you who needs to push and push until you reach certain momentum. Things will change for better only when you move and take action. Or else it keeps getting worse. You can keep crying, you can keep blaming, you can keep complaining, you can feel pity for yourself, but the world around you moves on and you will stay where you are.

Unfortunately complaining about the way things are, blaming others for your life and finding fault in external factors for your situation would not improve your life. The more you talk about your woes, limitations and difficulties the stronger they become. They would disable you to take self responsibility to deal with the current circumstances and take accountability for your better future at least from this moment.

The more you memorize the negative events in life, the more you reinforce it in your brain. The more you repeat the stronger the it becomes a habit. They become patterns in brain wiring. After a while the brain gets a kick out of running the these memories (good or bad) they run automatically without real reason. They become part of you as you know what has happened in past and what kind of thoughts you are going to have now. Even though it does not add any benefit to you, you choose to stay in the familiar thoughts of victim mentality and do nothing about it.

When you feel like a victim, develop self-pity, feel like you are helpless and powerless then your thoughts would be disempowering. This impacts your outlook towards life and prevents you to take better decisions.

~Praveen Jada

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